Dear God, We are bound with very tight knots.
They choke off air and stop the blood from pulsating freely.
The knots in our brains tie our creativity-our link with You.
We follow the knot around in its intricacy- but it remains a knot.
The knots deep in our hearts keep us from crying and dancing when we long to
They tie us to the posts of fences that separate us from each other.
The knots in our muscles keep our teeth clenched, our jaws locked, our shoulders stooped, our backs bent, our chests from inhaling and exhaling the sweetness of life's breath.
O God, untie all our knots!

Rabbi Shela Pelz Weinberg so accurately uses the image of being tied in a knot, of being bound up in our problems and our anxieties so deeply that we may not be able function at our best.

I shared this poem with some people a few months ago, and it elicited a strong response. They felt tightly wound up; overwhelmed; weighed down by the stress and anxiety in their lives. It's pretty hard, actually, to discuss stress and anxiety: it's such a broad and far reaching topic. Of course, a clinician could provide a technical definition, but to me, the words “stress” and “anxiety” has come to mean something personal and specific to each of us. For example, we may be stressed about the economy; about our jobs; about how the battle for healthcare is raging; or simply about how to drop off two kids in two different places at exactly the same time. In addition to having different triggers for stress, we all respond to stress and anxiety in our lives differently. Some may need it, using it as a significant source of energy; many run away from it as if being pursued; and some shut down when faced with deep tensions.

I have heard the words “stressed” and “anxious” far too often this year. So often, in fact, that I am worried. I am worried that we are not coping with the unbelievable challenges that we as an American society are facing; or with the individual struggles and challenges that we all must deal with in our own lives.

I believe that buried in the treasures of Judaism are answers to help us better face the inevitable challenges in our lives. This morning, let's look at just three coping mechanisms.

In a February issue of TIME, the magazine approached the topic of stress from many angles. In one article, an argument taught that stress can at times actually be good for us. It can be a source of energy that we tap into to solve problems more creatively and effectively.

Rabbi Edie Mencher teaches a coping mechanism that shares the same view of the TIME article: to anthropomorphize our stress. If we actually picture our stressors and anxious places as adversaries, and, instead of feeling pursued by them, we can turn it around so that we are doing the pursuing! Much like the TIME magazine writer, Rabbi Mencher urges us to take control of the difficult situation and confront it. When we face it head on, we will become more adept at dealing with the sources of our anxiety.

We can learn from Yvette Warren, who was forced out of her home during Katrina with her husband and five children, and faced significant stress: no home; no job; no health insurance. Working with a non -profit volunteer group, she found employment in the Bexar County District Attorney office. Armed with a good job, with benefits, Yvette is now pursuing further education in her field. She believes that the stress motivated her to be able make such a drastic change- for the positive-in her life.

On Rosh Hashanah, we are required to do “cheshbon hanefesh”: to take an accounting of the soul. We are to look deeply inside ourselves and take stock: where did I do the right things? The wrong things? Where am I in my life? Have I loved enough? Worked hard enough? Where do I want to be in my life? Have I done the best I could do?

Perhaps we can take the opportunity of Rosh Hashanah and the High Holy Day season to do chesbhon hanefesh, to confront our stress, and take control of it, like Yvette Warren did.

Yvette Warren had every reason to complain and see the worst in her life; she lost her home, her job, everything; but instead she chose to use the experience to bring about positive change. While it may be natural for human beings to be most vocal about what is wrong in our lives-- after all, our ancestors spent forty years in the wilderness complaining-we can powerfully combat stress by doing the opposite: making our lives better in the face of our challenges.

Our second Jewish coping strategy is the expression of gratitude. In the Mishnah, we learn that we should praise God for good-and for bad. As one Rabbi states in the discussion, we are to work at accepting what happens in our lives cheerfully. In fact, our sages programmed into our daily observance the commandment to give thanks. Every morning, we offer a prayer called Modeh Ani. We take a moment, upon rising, to proclaim our gratitude for a new day.

Ah, but we all know that gratitude doesn't come easily. We are excellent “kvetchers”! Just last week, I was struck by this: even with our much needed rain, after a just a few days of it, we began complaining of the mud, and the mess, and the driving conditions!

As Rabbi Edie Mencher writes, “It is not easy to give thanks in troubled times, especially when stress clouds the mind and you cannot see straight for all the fog. . . . .Taking the time to give thanks, especially when it is furthest from our minds, can serve as a momentary breaking away from the fog of stress, a breaking away that can lead us to a way out we may not have been able to see.”

When Iyanla Vanzant began her career, she was a single mother on welfare. With determination and vision, she became a Life Coach, a best-selling author and a television personality. But, after her meteoric rise, her life once again became difficult. Her daughter was diagnosed with cancer, and Vanzant leveraged everything to help her. During the illness, Vanzant's marriage ended. After about a 15 month battle with cancer, her daughter died; and Vanzant, grief stricken, was also financially destroyed.

Vanzant used the positive, used gratefulness to deal with her overwhelming stress-- the love of her daughter; the bounty of friends, her unshakable faith-and was able to offer her own prayer of thanksgiving: “Thank You, God for sheltering me in the storm, for making the crooked places straight, for making a way out of no way out.”

Vanzant's story provides a dramatic example of how to experience gratefulness in the wake of stressful situations. For us, our stress may be less dramatic, but still challenging. Perhaps we can note our gratefulness in the more simple pleasures in life: an uninterrupted conversation with a good friend; a project well done; the discovery of a new favorite author. And in taking the opportunity to uncover the gratefulness, we can say:

For all this and more, God, we are grateful: Modim Anachnu Lach.

Moving from shining sunlight on the cloud of stress, we also turn to the Talmud for guidance: “If there is anxiety in a man's mind, let him quash it.” Quashing it: that may sound inviting-but it could also be denial. The same Talmudic passage continues, airing a debate about what “quashing” anxiety is all about: But, about how we should deal with anxiety, there is a debate: “[But] R. Ammi and R. Assi differed on how he is to go about it. One said: 'let him banish it from his mind'. The other [R. Assi] said, 'Let him speak about it to others.'

We all know that Rabbi Assi is correct: when we have a good support system around us, we are better at bearing the burden of our stress. And so, in addition to searching our soul, and offering prayers of gratitude, we also turn to our community as a way to better cope with stress.

Rabbi Hayim Herring teaches that we have three main places in our lives: work, home and other. He calls the “other” the “third place”. It is an informal public space that is neither home, nor work, but, separate from the two, which deeply connects us to each other. By frequenting this place, we recharge, rejuvenate, and reengage in the world. Providing positive and fulfilling meaningful interaction, visitors feel safe, rewarded and cared for.

In a world filled with chaos and insecurity, stress and anxiety, we need to have a warm and welcoming place to go. Where you are supported, nurtured and rejuvenated? Where do you feel connected and accepted? I fear that many of us do not have a place of connection, a safe space, a place where you can feel rejuvenated, uplifted and cared for.

A number of years ago, many of us enjoyed a television show called “Cheers”. Cheers was the name of local bar, and most of the action happened inside it. One of the signature moments in the show was when one of the main characters opened the door to the bar, and as he walked through the door, everyone yelled his name: “Norm!”

Cheers was the place where everybody knew your name and where each was accepted for their foibles and idiosyncrasies-it was truly a Third Place. That may be why the television show was so popular-it shared with the world what so many were looking for: friendship, support, and rejuvenation.

Temple Beth-El is that third place for many people. On Friday nights our building is alive-- filled with those who have chosen to make this their place for transformation and renewal. It is in this place that we can manage the stress and anxiety of a chaotic world. For some, simply walking into the building and being greeted by friends alleviates the stresses of the week. In addition, the comfort and joy found in the worship experience allows us to focus on the blessings in our lives. And, the time we spend together after services is so warm and engaging, we are all enveloped in safe and sacred space. In all these ways, and so many more, Temple is that sacred and safe third place.

Significantly, it is at Temple Beth-El in where the other two coping mechanisms discussed today can be actualized. Here, : where we can face the stress directly, asking the hard questions in a safe and secure and accepting environment. At Temple we can remind ourselves of the blessings in our lives, found even amidst struggle. And when we do that in a place of warmth and acceptance and of laughter and unending support, surely, our stress will become more manageable.

In unprecedented times of stress, may our stress become a motivator to become better and stronger; may we use sacred gratitude to ease our burdens, and may we be blessed by the security of community, supporting us in challenging times. Amen.

Home