Beginning in the Middle?

From a conversation I had a few weeks ago: “ So, it's 5764. It's also almost November! What's all this talk the Rabbis' have to say about starting the year over again, starting fresh. . how do I do that when I'm so set in my ways; my routine is there, and the secular world just keeps going? After all it's not until January 1, that the secular world even talks about fresh starts and new beginnings. What am I supposed to do with this particular beginning?”

“Great question,” I said, stalling a bit. What do I tell her? How do I teach that this beginning, while in the middle and not a natural start, can truly be a fresh start if she chooses? I tried to avert the question, but, as she was much smarter, she stuck to her guns. Finally, I sat down with her, and we talked.

Our talk led us to study the first chapter and a bit more of Genesis. We uncovered some profound teachings, which helped us, together, to embrace this awkwardly timed New Year.

First, we studied the opening words of Genesis: Berish Bara Elohim Et Hashamaim . . . . “Bereishit Barah Elohim Et Hashamayim . . . When God began to create the heaven and the earth the earth being unformed and void, with darkness over the face of the deep and a wind from God sweeping over the water. . . “

Could it be, that as she was taught for so many years, that God created the world from nothing could be read differently? With a close reading, it appears that God may have actually created the world from something. It's not apparent that we can ever define what that something is, but the possibility is that God caused the creation from the middle of something. . . from tohu V'vohu, translated as “unformed and void” or “chaos”. If God can begin -so profoundly-from darkness-perhaps, she said, I can begin again from the chaos of my life.

But, I asked her, How will you do this? How will you set about creating the change that you desire? And were off to our studies again.

Our long discussion led to an interesting question: How did God create the world? Did God form, with so called hands, from the clay, the earth, the stars . . . it seems as if God created with words, “Vayomer Elohim . . . “ And God said. . let there be light. . . water. . . animals. God created with words!

We know that words have incredible power. Words create. My colleague, Rabbi Joseph Meszler calls humans the “Finders of Words.” Words refine and renew, crate and console, empower, and entreat. With words, the world as we know it has been created; with words, our own world can change, and be recreated.

“ So”, my friend said, “ If I utter out loud the changes that I desire, than they will come to be?”

“Well” I said, “ We're not quite as powerful as God. But, with words we make the changes, the reality that we desire real. When we say something out loud, then we become more obligated to making it happen with our actions.

My friend then asked, “ Well, how do I know I can actually do this?” And our conversation resumed.

“God created humankind last” I told her.

“So?” She said.

“Well, why would humans be created last? Wouldn't you think they would be created first, in the order of things?”

“Hmm. . . perhaps we needed to be created last so that we would know what our job would be?”

“What do you mean by that? “

“Well, doesn't it say that were are supposed to subdue the earth, or have dominion over it, or something like that?

“ yes, exactly. . “

“Well, if we are supposed to be ruling over the earth, it's better if we are created last so we would know what we were getting into”

“Well, that's pretty creative!”

“The rabbis teach that we were created last so that we would not get arrogant, or think that dominion meant that we had the authority to destroy the world. In fact, its taught that the angels were worried about the creation of man, and tried to talk God out of it-that's why it says, 'let us make man in our image' and then a few words later, ' and God made adam in God's image'

“Hmm. . I like that we shouldn't be arrogant-it is a great lesson for us as we face such challenges with the environment, etc. But, rabbi, it doesn't really help me in my quest to understand how I can handle changing to meet a new year, right now. “

“You are right. I just got excited by our conversation. You know rabbis get a little excited when we get to talk Torah like this!”

“Back to our conversation-perhaps this is a more helpful question for you-“ What does it mean when the Torah says that we were created in God's image?”

“Hmm. . well, I know what I've always been taught: that we were created in God's image, and while we don't look like God, we are partners with God in making the world a better place.”

“Great! I think we're on to something. Tell me, do you know where that story came from?”

“An ancient mystical midrash, legend, taught this: God created special containers to hold God's light. But the special containers were not able to hold the light of God. A cosmic accident happened: the containers broke. The universe became filled with sparks of God's Divine Light and shards of the broken containers. These shards of light came into each of us, becoming our souls, and our constant connection with the Divine; we join with God in putting the shards back together again to make the world once more whole.”

“Our souls, then, I think what you are teaching, is that we hold the key to making the world perfect, not simply because God told us to, but because we each have a piece of God actually inside of us?”

“I think that is a beautiful interpretation. Our role on this earth, then, is to be God's partners in the world. The Bratzlaver Rebbe said, “ Always say, The world was created for my sake. Never say, What does all this have to do with me? And do your share to add some improvement, to supply something that is missing, and leave the world a little better for your sojourn in it.”

“You know, there are times when I'm quite sure that I'm leaving the world a better place-I think I'm raising great kids, I try to give back to the community in some way, I work on my marriage. . . but there are times when its' all a total mystery, and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. . .

“I know-we all feel that way. Often. There's a neat reading of the text that may help us. The word Bara-which usually translate as create, as in “ Bereishit Barah Elohim. . . “ IN the beginning God created. . . “ Has a possible different translation: bringing something out into the open. Samson Raphael Hirsch suggest that our job is to discover and uncover, to help bring out into the world that which is hidden. Our understanding of our role in the world today is often hidden, and it's our job, as helping God make the world a better place, to try to uncover the hidden parts.”

“So,then it's really ok to sometimes not know where we're going, if we know where we're going, how to get there, as long as we continue to try to uncover the understanding?"

“That's what I think”

“I'm still not sure that the whole thing is so clear. Is what you are saying that we are partners with God, created in God's image, and with the power of words, we can make the changes in our lives?”

“ Yes, and. . . .” She interrupted me

“And when it becomes difficult it's ok; if we continue to try to uncover our roles on this earth, we are, in essence, continuing our own journey, as well as fulfilling our duty to being partners with God? “

“Exactly.”

“Well, Rabbi. . I loved our philosophical discussions. I do feel better. . but, where do I begin?

“There is a legend of the Gordian Knot. In this mythological tale, there is a knot that has no end, and no beginning. But it must be untied. The only way to untie it is just to start. So, I say this: You begin in the middle.”

“Thanks for coming to talk to me. Why don't we end this conversation with a prayer. Vayehi Erev, Vayehi Boker. . and it was evening and it was morning. . the next day. . O god, let us be worthy of your creation. You have made us in your image, a creature to walk in your footsteps. Let us look with always grateful eyes to your creation, and enable us to feel you close to us, guiding and sustaining us in your holy work, on our sacred journeys. Amen.

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