Home
Within the year after a loved one dies, members of his or her immediate family should arrange for a monument for the grave. Jewish tradition requires nothing more to be done. Survivors need not hold an unveiling or dedication of the tombstone. In fact, such a ritual is not mentioned in the Talmud nor in any of the historic Jewish law codes. It is a uniquely American and British practice. Our forebears in Central and Eastern Europe never knew of this practice.
However, when asked, we Rabbis of Temple Beth-El are available to conduct a ceremony of dedication or to provide a family representative with the prayers to do so. The ceremony can be helpful. It can give the loved ones of the deceased an opportunity to reassess the legacy of their loved one and to gain a sense of closure.
However, we do emphasize that the unveiling should not be a “second funeral.” If it does take place, we recommend that only family members and close friends be invited. At Temple Beth-El, we do not consider an unveiling to be a community event, and therefore do not announce it in any of our official Temple publications.
There is no traditional time for this ceremony, though we recommend that it be done at the conclusion of the year of mourning. The dedication ceremony that we conduct is brief. It consists of comments about the deceased, but not a formal eulogy. It also includes Psalms, a prayer of dedication, the El Male memorial prayer, and the Kaddish.
We are fortunate that Porter Loring Mortuaries will provide, free of charge, a covering for the monument and a tent to protect those who are gathered from the elements, if Porter Loring had originally taken care of the funeral arrangements.
Should you wish to schedule a monument dedication ceremony, please contact one of the Rabbis, after the monument has been ordered.