When I was a teenager, and the phone would ring, I always hoped for the magical phrase, "Allison, you have a call!" to reverberate throughout the house. Whenever I heard that sentence being yelled, I felt so special. Someone had singled me out!

I think I still carry that with me today-I know one of the first things I do when I get home is to check to see if I have messages. The truth is, we all want to be special. Receiving phone calls is but one example of how we crave connection in our lives. When we connect with another human being we experience a sense of purpose, and importance.

Our sense of purpose and connection comes not only from people in our lives, however - it comes from ourselves, and from God. It is with a sense of purpose and connection that this week's Torah portion begins, as God calls Moses:

"Vayikra El Moshe Vayidaber Adonai Elaiv Ma'ohel Mo'ed, Leimor" "And God called to Moses, and spoke to him out of the Tent of meeting, saying. . ." This first phrase introduces God's next mission to Moses-to teach about the rules and regulations of the Tabernacle and the Priests-through a personal call.

The word I want to explore this evening is: "Vayikra," and God called. God called Moses-not with a telephone, surely-but God called Moses nonetheless.

The concept of being called extends beyond connection: call teaches us about ourselves. In his book Soul Prints, Marc Gafni describes "to call" as ". . the human experience of being summoned to a specific mission or destiny." When we are called we experience ultimate connection with ourselves.

As Jews, we are called to lead moral, ethical lives informed by the guidelines of Torah. Understanding our calls as Jews is something we impart to our children all through their upbringing. Much harder, however, is understanding our personal call. In fact, it's intangibility makes many of us so uncomfortable that we are even uncomfortable shef away from word "call"!

Yet, the truth is, as we are called to make this world a better place through our Jewish lives, so too is each one of called to a mission on this earth. Perhaps vocation is a better word. In Latin, vocation is vocare, which stems from the word voice. Our vocation is where we find our voice. When we respond to our call, and work to fulfill it's mission, we have found our true voice.

The call-in whatever form-is a summons to our truest self. Marc Gafni writes, "That summons is a bell or a clarion that commands each of us to stand up and be counted." And important question-how do we hear the call? Calls come in all sorts of venues: from people you continually find yourself returning to, a cataclysmic moment, a job offer, in the smile of a child Whatever the form-calls do come. Calls come in many forms; sometimes they are challenging, asking us to revamp our lives; sometimes they are peaceful and quite easy.

Being faced with our call-whether it is to be a doctor, a housewife, a father, an artist, a rabbi, a teacher, it begins with three challenges. They are: the desire to run away from it, the inability to hear it and, finally, by the initial reaction that we are "not up to doing the job".

Our Torah offers insight to each of these three challenges. Remember Jonah and the whale? In this famous story, Jonah is called by God to go to Nineveh to cry out against the wicked ways of the city. What does Jonah do? Jonah tries to flee from the presence of God by hiring a boat to go to Tarshish. While on the boat, God creates a horrible storm, so that the boat seemed likely to be destroyed. Jonah was thrown off the boat by the sailors, for fear that he had caused the tempest. Indeed, as soon as he was removed from the boat, the storm ceased. Once in the sea, miraculously, Jonah is saved. He is swallowed by a large fish. From the fish's belly, Jonah prayed to God. Jonah thanked God for his life thus far, and added supplications for his life to continue.

In other words, Jonah ceased running away from God's call. He realized that he had to listen to the call and fulfill his mission. Jonah continued on to Nineveh, to deliver God's words.

When we are faced with a call, often we run away. Jonah teaches us that running away from our fear is not successful. We may run away and try lots of different things to drown out the call, but, in the end, as Jonah teaches us, the call will catch up to us.

I have been struck by the number of people returning to secondary education. For many, they have returned to school out of a need, a desire to better their lives. For others, it is because they have, for whatever reason avoided a calling to a certain career, and are now realizing that they cannot run away. I know a woman who has a successful career in the business world. However, after years of denying it, she has returned to school to begin a work towards a career as a family therapist. For her, starting over has been very exciting. She once told me, " I just don't have a choice anymore. I've avoided my calling on long enough."

This woman made a radical change in her life. However, radical change is not always necessary. Many of us, once we hear our calls, are quick to heed them.

Take for example, Samuel. Samuel is the son of Hannah. Samuel is dedicated to God's service at Ramah, under the head priest, Eli. As Eli grew older, Samuel became Eli's trusted servant. One night, in the middle of the night, Samuel heard a call in the night. He ran to Eli, and said, "Here I am -- you called me?" Eli replied, "I did not, so go back to sleep". Samuel did as he was bidden, and returned to bed.

Again, he heard a call, and went running to Eli. And again, Eli said, " I did not call you, go lie down again." And, once again, Samuel did as he was told. The third time, Samuel went to Eli, and Eli understood that his was a call from God. Eli instructed Samuel to return to his bed, and when he heard the call again, he should say, "Speak, My Lord, for your servant is listening."

And on the fourth time the call came, that is what Samuel did, and God offered God's prophecy unto Samuel. Interestingly, Samuel doesn't recognize or hear the call. It took his teacher-his mentor-to point out the meaning, and purpose, of the voice.

We need to listen to hear the call. In a wonderful book, by Noah ben Shea, entitled Jacob the Baker, Jacob teaches his student that it is the silence between the notes that truly makes the song. We have to listen to the silence, he taught, to be able to really hear what is going one. In the same way, we have to listen to the silence in our busy lives to hear our call. Because, as with Samuel, our calls often come to us when we are tuned into something else. As Jacob the Baker allowed the silence to make music for him, so too can silence help us hear our call

This spring, baseball season is underway. Most of us know that baseball can provide some fairly apt analogies for our lives. Let's look at our last challenge through the eyes of yet another baseball metaphor: you're up to bat. Poised at home base, bat up to your ear-what's going through your mind? I gotta hit it. I gotta hit the ball. .. Oh God, what if I mess up?

Remember how Moses responded to God when he was first called? He told God that he was slow of speech, and unable to fulfill this mission. He was scared. He felt inadequate. If Moses felt insufficient-how much more so do we feel inadequate! However, even with his doubts, Moses stepped up to the plate. What happened? He hit the ball.

Now, Moses didn't hit a home run. He wasn't perfect: remember--Moses isn't allowed to enter the Promised Land. This teaches us an even deeper lesson: we don't have to be perfect. We just have to dig down deep, into ourselves and simply step up the plate, ready to try to hit the ball.

God has called us to a certain vocation. We will make mistakes, but we have to try. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask us to be perfect. Rather, God simply asks that we listen to the call, and try. Moses fulfilled his calling but he wasn't perfect.

Jonah tried to run away from the call-Samuel couldn't hear it without helpand, originally, Moses didn't trust his skills. In the end, however, all three accepted and followed their calling. Heeding our individual calls-fulfilling our personal missionbrings us closer to our true selves.

A popular legend goes something like this: A rabbi named Zusya died and went to stand before the judgment seat of God. As he waited for God to appear, he grew nervous thinking about his life and how little he had done. He began to imagine that God was going to ask him, "Why weren't you Moses or why weren't you Solomon or why weren't you David?" But when God appeared, the rabbi was surprised. God simply asked, "Why weren't you Zusya?"

In order for each one of us to reach our truest selves, we need to be comfortable with being called. We all have a vocation, a calling -all we need to do is listen, step up to the plate, and try.

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