Originally, Mary Kay Bogot was scheduled to deliver the message tonight. Mary Kay, who is a dear personal friend, has written extensively about her experiences as a Jew-by-Choice. She was slated to talk about her book: "Judaism Under Construction: A Grandmother's Memoir for Jews and their Non-Jewish Relatives." Unfortunately, her husband, Rabbi Howard Bogot, underwent surgery this week in Israel, where the Bogots now live. Therefore we are sorry that Mary Kay had to cancel her appearance here.

Thus, I would like to take this opportunity to offer my own thoughts on the Reform movement's Outreach program as it approaches its chai, or 18th, anniversary. In November, 1978, at a National Board meeting of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations in Houston, Rabbi Alexander M. Schindler, who is soon to retire as its President, unveiled the Outreach program. He was the pioneer national Jewish leader to focus on the critical issues of intermarriage and conversion. Since Rabbi Schindler's call for outreach 18 years ago, the Conservative movement and the Reconstructionist movement also have seriously addressed these issues, as have scores of secular Jewish organizations. Many have patterned their outreach programs on the model of the Reform movement.

In his Outreach proposal, Rabbi Schindler dealt with several matters. I want to reflect on just three of these: welcoming interfaith couples, integrating Jews-by-Choice, and proselytizing non-Jews who are not churched.

First, interfaith couples. Years ago, in Reform congregations, intermarriage was not a burning concern. Fewer than 10% of American Jews married out. The majority of Jews who did intermarry left the Jewish community and did not raise their children Jewish. Those few who stayed and joined Reform congregations were quietly accepted. They sent their children to our Temple Religious Schools, where they were confirmed and were always considered Jews. The non-Jewish spouse was absorbed into Temple life and little issue was made about it.

However, in the last several years, this picture has drastically changed. The intermarriage rate among American Jews galloped to over 50%. Unlike previous generations, many of those who intermarry today are committed Jews. They intend to raise their children Jewish. They also want their non-Jewish spouses to feel warmly welcomed into the congregation. Reform congregations throughout the country, including ours, have tried to respond to this need.

On the whole, I have been gratified by our Outreach to interfaith families. In the last five years, a significant percentage of our new members at Temple Beth-El are intermarried couples who want to identify with Judaism. We are delighted that they have chosen to affiliate with us.

However, in some places, hurt feelings have resulted when a non-Jew wants to run for a Temple office or offer the Torah blessings. We do not want to exclude or offend anyone or cause anyone pain.

Yet we can not blur boundaries in a congregation between one who is Jewish and one who has not officially become Jewish, either through birth or conversion. We welcome non-Jewish spouses into our congregation graciously and lovingly.

However, certain Temple responsibilities are appropriate only for those who are Jewish. Therefore, we limit membership on our Board of Trustees to members of the Jewish faith. Only Jewish leaders should set policies for Jewish congregations. Similarly, certain liturgical roles in our worship service are restricted to Jews. Others, however, are open both to Jews and non-Jews. For example, the blessing over the candles, with the phrase: "Who has sanctified us with Your commandments" can not be offered honestly by one who is not Jewish.

However, a non-Jew can easily read other parts in our service. For example, on Saturday morning, at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, a non-Jewish grandparent can offer a generic, family meditation before the actual Hebrew blessings over the wine and hallah.

In this way and others, the Outreach program has been helpful in embracing interfaith families. It has also been a boon to our conversion program. It has made us more aware of the struggles and challenges of many new Jews-by-Choice. A new Jew-by Choice, at the conversion ceremony, enters into his/her infancy of Jewish religious development. There is so much more to learn and experience.

For example, those conversion candidates who study with us in the fall semester have not yet celebrated Purim, Passover, and Shavuot. Similarly, those who are now training with us in the spring semester, will not yet have observed the High Holy Days, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, or Hanukkah. We must support and encourage these new Jews-by-Choice so that they will continue to feel nurtured as they grow as Jews.

However, there are still some problems that we in our Temple have yet to resolve. We must always remember that Judaism considers Jews-by-Choice to be just as authentically Jewish as Jews by birth. We must never make insensitive remarks implying that Jews-by-Choice are not real Jews. Even the Talmud warns us never to remind a convert to Judaism of his/her former status as a Gentile.

We have also had difficulty finding Temple members who are willing to mentor those who are in the process of converting or who have recently converted. Thus, many new Jews-by-Choice tend to feel abandoned after their conversion. Unless they receive strong support from us, it will be difficult for them to sustain their commitment. I have regretfully known of several Jews-by-Choice, who after just a few years, withdraw from the Jewish community. They disappear from our Temple membership rolls because they have felt unwanted. We must avoid these tragic losses by our warm acceptance and our ongoing attention.

Finally, the last area of Outreach that I want to discuss is proselytizing unchurched Gentiles. This plank of the Rabbi Schindler's Outreach platform has generated almost no enthusiasm among Reform Jews. Personally I am opposed to it. I must admit that there is a Jewish precedent for it, however. For a few centuries, before the rise of Christianity, we Jews were ardent proselytizers. We unabashedly attempted to win converts to our faith. Our efforts, however, came to a halt when the Christian church forbade us to continue. As passionate proselytizers themselves, Christian church leaders did not want any competition from the Jews.

I have no theological objections to Reform Jewish missionizing. Yet I think that we need to spend our energies elsewhere. For example, 50% of San Antonio's Jews are unaffiliated with synagogues. The great majority of these have no Jewish connections whatsoever. In my view, we should devote our energies to reach these Jews with no Jewish connections.

Yet, I make one exception to my objection to attempting to win unchurched non-Jews to Judaism. I believe that intermarried Jews should consider encouraging their non-Jewish spouses to convert if these spouses have no other formal religious connections. Many of these non-Jewish husbands and wives are ripe for conversion. We, in Judaism, do not believe that one needs to be Jewish to be "saved." One can attain religious "salvation" as a Catholic, Protestant, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or an adherent of any other faith, as long as that person is ethical and moral. Yet, many of these non-Jewish spouses are looking for roots and for spirituality. They are impressed by the beliefs of Judaism and by the beauty of its traditions. Often it is their Jewish partner who stands in the way of their becoming more Jewishly identified.

Not a few of these Jewish spouses, after the conversion of their non-Jewish mates, have boasted to me, "I never asked her to convert. She did it on her own." There is nothing wrong with asking. In fact, many non-Jewish spouses have admitted that they haven't converted simply because they have never been asked.

I do deeply respect those non-Jewish spouses, who have no church affiliation, but still hesitate to convert. They may have a residual belief in Jesus. They fear that by abandoning Christianity, they will lose their chance for salvation. They may also be afraid of straining their relations with their Christian parents.

However, there are so many more non-Jewish spouses who would be flattered by an invitation to convert. To them, their loved one should be prepared to convey the beauty and grandeur of Jewish life and practice.

Recently, Catherine Hall Myrowitz, a Jew-by-Choice, compiled a volume of interviews with several converts to Judaism. The title she assigned to this work is very instructive: "Finding a Home for the Soul." Many non-Jewish spouses feel spiritually adrift. I am confident that, at the initiative of their Jewish husbands or wives, they would find, in Judaism, a warm and loving home for their souls. In this way, our Outreach program would be able to realize its fullest potential. Amen.

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