May the Words of My Mouth. . .

Sermon given June 2, 2000, by Rabbi B. Allison Bergman

They tell me that I talk too much.
I'm trying not to talk too much.
But, oh, it's hard to take time out
When there is so much to talk about:
How long it took to pull my tooth.
How hard it is to tell the truth.
Why steel is not as nice as trees.
Why Brian has such scabby knees.
Twelve sights I saw in Williamsburg.
The definition of an erg.
Why roller skates are not my style.
Six reasons goldfish never smile.
How come I'd rather freeze than roast.
And ten things that I love the most:
The mustache on my fathers' face.
Fires in the fireplace.
Any book by Judy Blume.
Never cleaning up my room.
Every single Valentine,
Sent to me by Chris Romine.
Drummers in a marching band.
Ferry rides
The Redskins
Poems, and
Talking.

This poem, written by Judith Viorst, is one of my favorites. As a child, I was sure it was written for me. Because, you see, I love talking. Ask the phone company, I'm one of its best customers. Talking is great. When we talk, we reach out to one another, sharing ideas, opinions, likes, dislikes. It's how we get to know one another. Today, however, talking is but one form of communication: Technology has given us satellite television, e-mail, the internet, fax, mobile phones, and lap top computers. Words and information flood our reality. We are less willing to take the time to explore the nuances of a relationship, to follow through with a promise, to construct careful sentences. Instead, we e-mail without thought to punctuation and grammar-or even capital letters-leave rambling voice mail messages-and yell to acquaintances in the parking lot." Call me, we'll do something".

Our words-in political life, private life, religious life-have intense meaning. They have the power to heal, to destroy, to excite, and to bore. As Americans, we have embraced the power of the written word. Abraham Lincoln's famous Gettysburg Address: Who does not know at least the first few words? "Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal." Or, more recently, this famous quote: "I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream." Who can listen to this and not hear the thunderous, emotional voice of Martin Luther King, echoing his fateful words on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial? The power of words to create political change, and influence the public is exemplified by these two esteemed figures of American life. From those who speak out on behalf of social good, we are also reminded of the power of words to transform our lives.

Exactly one year ago this Shabbat, I ascended a very different bimah, for a very different reason: it was the Shabbat of my ordination.

When Rabbi Sheldon Zimmerman laid his hands on my shoulders to ordain me on Saturday morning, he whispered a very private, very moving message. The words uttered by Rabbi Zimmerman inspired me, uplifted me, and transformed me. We spent only twenty seconds engaged in communication-yet those few seconds changed me forever. Rabbi Zimmerman may not even remember what he said to me on the bimah a year ago. His words will continue to echo in my head. Once uttered, they took on a life of their own. This is true, too, with e-mail, voice mail –any form of communication. It lives on once it has left our mouths.

How many times have we left a message for a friend or a spouse, and have had those words come back to haunt us, left only with the defense, "But that's not what I meant!" It is so easy to be misunderstood. Think of all the times when a simple mistake resulted in hurt.

For example, I can be very sarcastic-I often add a sarcastic remark to a conversation without the slightest thought. Many times I have inadvertently hurt or alienated others. Inflection is only the beginning of how painful our words can be. Fighting against the urges of l'shon hara, slander or gossip, is an uphill battle. We know the pain that can be caused by gossiping, and yet it is often difficult to stop. Rabbi Bunam- a Hasidic rabbi- taught an important lesson we can embrace today: "Since words are as medicine, they must be carefully measured, and precautions taken against an overdose". (Pg 65, #10, Hasidic Anthology). As our words are medicine, we must prevent them from becoming poisonous to ourselves and others.

Our words have power-this we know. We know that we should be careful with our communication-we know that gossip is dangerous-we know that e-mails without punctuation often lead to misunderstandings-we know that promises made thoughtlessly can backlash. We know, too, that sometimes little phrases, compliments, and insights offer hope, inspiration, or perhaps just a simple smile. Yet, it is hard to monitor our words, our e-mails, our voicemails, and often the positive power of communication gets lost. Life is busy-who takes the time to think through that e-mail when there are ten voicemails waiting? Yes, this message is not new. It is timeless.

A few months ago, I attended the CCAR (Central Conference of American Rabbis) convention in Greensboro, North Carolina. At that convention, I attended a seminar that discussed this very topic: the power of our words. As part of our conversation, we studied Psalm 51, verse 17, a line with which we are familiar: "May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable to You, O God, my Rock and my Redeemer."

I was struck by the choice of this verse. Importantly, I realized that it had become a rote phrase for me. It is such an ingrained part of our prayer vocabulary that I had begun to take it for granted. Further, I realized that I had never truly pondered what the verse meant-and meant to me. As I studied, one word in this beautiful verse became significant: acceptable. It is inspired a question: What did it mean for my words and my meditations to be acceptable to God? A synonym for the word acceptable is " pleasing," which offers insight into this verse. We can reread this verse as "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, my Rock and my Redeemer." With the word pleasing, I imagine myself striving to do the right thing for myself, and for God. I ask this question: If I were speaking to God, would this sentence please God?

Sidney Greenberg taught in his book Words to Live By: "One of God's most precious gifts to us is the power of speech. It separates us from the beast and from the world of nature. It should be used with kindness, care and compassion." (pg, 100). Take a moment and think about all the various forms of communication you engaged in today. Were they pleasing to God?

We have been taught that we are all made in the image of God. As such, we have an obligation to approach every conversation, every communication, as if we are approaching God.

This is not an easy task-perhaps why the message is so timeless. Yet it is imperative, as information becomes a commodity worth millions, that we realize the power inherent within every word.

When we pause-even for the count of two- so to choose our words more carefully- our words will be more pleasing to God.

When we take the time to read over an e-mail, checking for possible gaps in communication-our letters will become more pleasing to God.

When we engage in communication based on the qualities of kindness, care and compassion-this will be pleasing to God.

The way to create meaningful communication is to become aware of what we say when we use our words is to ask this question: will this be pleasing to God? Our words are not always going to be profound, but we must be aware of why we are using them-to share and care, to heal and not to hurt. Our words have consequential meaning, and meaningful consequences.

This week, we begin reading from the book of Numbers, called in Hebrew Bemidbar. Bemidbar means "in a desert". As the Israelites wandered the desert, waiting to enter the Promised Land, we too, are in a desert, a land where healthy communication, like water, is scarce. May we be inspired to embrace a path that will lead us toward sound, positive verbal exchanges. I pray that our words will be pleasing, as I say, "May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to You, My Rock and my Redeemer."


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