Dear Allison,

One of my happiest moments as a rabbi was when I received Rabbi Stahl’s invitation to be here tonight to share this simcha with you and the congregation.

I have used the past few weeks as an opportunity to reflect on the dramatic changes I have witnessed in Reform Judaism during my lifetime. I grew up at congregation Mishkan Israel in Hamden, Connecticut. In 1968, when I was 12, the other girls in my Hebrew School class and I wrote a letter to our Temple’s Board of Trustees. We requested that the board change its policy to allow us to become Bat Mitzvah.

The Board turned down our request, but not for the traditional reasons. They said the Temple planned to eliminate the antiquated Bar Mitzvah soon, and therefore, it did not make sense to add Bat Mitzvahs. Needless to say, my old congregation still has weekly Bar Mitzvahs, and since the early 1970’s Bat Mitzvahs too. So I never had a Bat Mitzvah, just as most American Jewish women of a certain age have not.

Naturally, when I was in religious school, there were no women Cantors or Rabbis. Our congregation was unusual because we had a woman president. When I was in high school, Sally Priesand was ordained and I benefitted greatly from the trail she blazed.

When I applied to the Hebrew Union College, I definitely wanted to attend the New York campus. There were no women faculty at any of the campuses of HUC, but New York had a reputation of being more supportive of women students. Indeed, my teachers were as encouraging of women in the rabbinate as they could be. When I was ordained in 1983, there were no women serving as senior rabbis, as regional directors, or on the UAHC staff.

As the songwriter Holly near put it, “the earth has moved under my feet”. There are now 278 women rabbis and 122 women cantors. There are women senior rabbis hiring assistants, women working as Regional directors, women faculty teaching at HUC and women rabbis staffing the UAHC offices. At Allison’s ordination, half the graduates were women.

Allison’s ordination, and her service to Temple Beth-El, are part of a broad historic movement which has progressed at a striking pace in the 16 years that separate our ordination. The full integration of women into the Reform Movement may not be complete, but it is certainly irrevokable now.

As I prepared to speak this Shabbat, I have been drawn over and over to several sections of this week’s Torah Portion: Ekev. In the portion, Moses admonishes the people as follows: “And now, O Israel, what does the Lord Your God demand of you? Only this: to revere the Lord Your God, to walk only in God’s paths, to love God, and to serve the Lord Your God with all your heart and soul, keeping the Lord’s commandments and laws, which I enjoin upon you today, for your good.” (Deuteronomy 10:12-13) Love God and serve God with all your heart and soul.

What I see in that charge is a recipe for rabbinic burn out. If we expect the Rabbi to be continuously and completely available, no human could survive the role. But I think the secret clue to the command are at the end, “for your good,” le tov lach.

If we could always keep these words before our eyes — like tefillin — for your good. In Judaism The clergy, unlike priests, do not play a vicarious role for the people. Each of us is out there on our own. We all must be able to choose “for our own good”. In this portion the challenges of Judaism:

Be ethical
Be kind to strangers
Help the weak
Serve only the Lord Your God

Are directed at the whole people.

Each of us Jews is torn by ambivalence. On the one hand, we are drawn to the high idealism of the portion. Yet simultaneously we hear Moses’ condemning words ringing in our ears: “as long as I have known you, you have been defiant toward the Lord.” (Deuteronomy 9: 24) Moses uses every trick in the book to encourage the people: reprimand, reward and inspiration. No wonder we Jews don’t know how to respond. Should we be happy about getting this package deal God/Torah/Israel, or should we run for the nearest exit?

I believe we have a great system. We’re all in this together, clergy and lay people. While they’re throwing the book at us, it is tempered by the magic words for your good, le tov lach.

In my life journey as a Jew and as a Rabbi, I have found that what is good for me is never fixed, it is always changing. At different times, different concerns and challenges have come to the fore. Now I’d like to add one more word from our Hebrew text — hayom — today. The verse says which I enjoin upon you today for your good. Hayom le tov lach.

It is my prayer that each of us can learn to ask this question—what would be good for me today? There are no fixed answers for what God demands of us.

This Monday I was at the funeral for the mother of one of my congregants. The daughter asked me if I had heard of the popular “What Would Jesus Do” bracelets. She is having bracelets made for her family that ask “What Would Mommom Do” because this woman had always been an inspiration to her family.

I don’t think a bracelet is necessary, but we do need to clearly ask ourselves what would be good for me today. How can I be a blessing to myself — Today. If we begin with this self-reflection, we will challenge ourselves to grow in the way we most need.

Allison, my prayer for you is that you will each day think to yourself, what would be good for me today? How can you be a blessing to yourself, your family and your congregation hayom — today. All the rest will follow. You will become a model for other Jews, a source of bracha, a wellspring of blessing.

Keyn yehi ratzon, may this be God’s will, and let us say Amen.

E-mail Rabbi Yudkin
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