A little while ago, I was wandering through Barnes and Noble, my Starbucks coffee in hand, looking for the perfect book. As I wandered aimlessly, I was a little stunned at the wide variety of titles on the best-seller list. Chicken Soup for the Soul; A Second Helping of Chicken Soup; Chicken Soup for the Soul for Teenagers; Chicken Soup for the Soul for Women.

Suddenly I felt a little hungry. . . I meandered toward the café, scanning titles as I walked. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human. . . ;The Art of Happiness: A Handbook forLiving; One Day My Soul Just Opened Up: 40 Days and 40 Nights Towards Spiritual Strength and Personal Growth; Organizing From the Inside Out: The Foolproof System for Organizing Your Home, Your Office, and Your Life. . . So many self help books; feel good stories—it was a little overwhelming—we certainly are searching for directions and guidance to make our lives more fulfilling!

As we sit in this sanctuary, let us put self-help gurus aside, and, at no extra cost to you, turn to Judaism for guidance for our inner growth.

Because today, before your very eyes, I will unveil my own self help guide: Beth-El's Three Steps To Becoming a Millionaire and Leading an Incredibly Fulfilling Life!

First, get a million dollars. Now, let's move on to the part about the fulfilling life. Our first step, Chet, is about the importance of honesty.

Just before the Torah service, we read the "Al Chet"—the communal confession of sins. We read a litany of sins—sins against ourselves, against God, against the Jewish and larger community. The word Chet, meaning sin, can also be interpreted "to miss the mark".

There's a story about an archer which illustrates this concept beautifully:

One day, a young man entered the barn of a friend to look for something he wanted to borrow. Wandering around the barn, he noticed that the neighbor was clearly an expert archer—every arrow that had been shot had made a perfect bullseye. Hundreds of arrows were perfectly, beautifully, in the exact center of the bullseye! How could he do that? The neighbor wondered. He set off to find the archer. When he found him, he excitedly asked, " How do you make a perfect shot every time? It's amazing!"

The archer answered him: "It's quite easy—I shoot my arrow, and wherever it lands-- that's where I draw the target!" Yeah, it's funny, but how often to do we do this in our lives? How often are we unable to shoot the arrow straight—because we were too tired, to frustrated, because we have lost focus? But the archer did something many of us have difficulty doing: admitted his weakness. His honesty—even tinged with humor—is the key to this first step.

The process of self-growth and renewal, according to Rabbi Kerry Olitsky in his book Twelve Jewish Steps to Recovery—"begins with the act of seeing ourselves clearly, with all our imperfections". In twelve step programs-such as Alcoholics Anonymous, the first step in the program is honesty; seeing clearly.

Only when we are frank about our actions, with our thoughts, with who we really are, can we move toward growth. Judith Viorst, a humorist and a childrens' poet, wrote on this theme:

It's hard to say "I'm sorry,"
Although I'm feeling sorry.
The "s" always sticks in my throat.
And " I made a big mistake"
Would produce a bellyache
That might last till I was old enough to vote.

"Please forgive me" sounds real good.
And I'd say it if I could,
But between the "forgive" and the "please"
I would have to go to bed
With a pounding in my head
And a very shaky feeling in my knees.

"I was wrong" seems oh so right.
But it gives me such a fright
That my " was" always turns into "ain't"
So I hope you'll take this rhyme
As my way of saying "I'm
Really sorry." Now excuse me while I faint.

Judith Viorst has touched on the eternal theme: that apology means we have to be candid about our hurts and mistakes. After we confess when we have missed the mark—Het; after we become honest with ourselves, we can move on to our second step.

The second step, Nitzavim, teaches us that in order to grow we have to be ready and willing in order to make change—after we are honest, we must be willing to invite growth.

This step comes directly from today's Torah portion, Nitzavim. We've all heard the phrase: "Atem Nitzavim Hayom Culchem L'fney Adonai Eloheichem" "You stand here this day, all of you, before the Lord your God." Most often translated as "standing", Nitzavim is also interpreted as "standing firm" or " standing at attention". Using the image of "standing at attention" this implies a readiness, or willingness. When we stand at attention, we are ready and willing to act. It is the same way with personal growth. We have to be 'at attention'—ready and willing to change, to grow. Our willingness is directly proportional to our success. How many of us have sent an unwilling child back to their bedroom for a thorough cleaning—with the results being less than admirable? Or, for example, the heavy smoker who couldn't stop smoking, even after diagnosed with emphysema. He wasn't ready to. How many of us have discussed losing weight, or adding exercise to our lives—but have not yet done so?

As many of us have learned first hand, we can only make changes in our lives when we are ready to do so. This is, perhaps, because we are not Nitzavim, ready and willing, to make the changes necessary to grow. An excerpt from the poem "Reforming Oneself-Tomorrow", by Max Ehrmann, underlines this concept:

"When it rains and one is much indoors,
one is likely to meditate on the
shortcomings of life.

Let me think—how shall I make myself
Kind, gentle, considerate?

I do believe it has stopped raining.
I shall go out now. I'll go and shoot on
The archery range.

I'll not bother to reform myself today.
Perhaps tomorrow—if it is raining
And I must stay indoors and meditate
On the shortcomings of life.

As the poem discusses, we must be ready and willing to make change.

We've talked about honesty and readiness – now, how do we complete the process?

To learn about our third step, we encounter the most popular word of the High Holy Day season: Teshuva. Of course we know that Teshuva translates as repentance. Lesser known is that the word teshuva is directly related to the word "return". Teshuva is about return—returning to face our wrongs, returning to make amends for our mistakes. When we make teshuva, we return—and turn—away from our misdeeds, towards the vision of our highest self.

But returning is hard. It takes work. We have been ready and honest with ourselves—but we also have to be realistic. Real personal growth and change comes from persistence. What is the saying? If at first you don't succeed, try, try again! We must be honest with ourselves that will not make our mark the first time—or even the second time. We must take solace in the fact that our sages, our rabbis, our families and our God support us in our efforts to continually grow—to continually return and try again.

Pirke Avot, the Ethics of the Fathers (2:16) teaches "it is not your job to complete the task, but neither are you free to desist from it." We will never complete our task of self-growth—but neither can we neglect it. Judaism demands that we revisit ourselves, that we grow from our mistakes. There is no question: we will falter, but we have to be willing to pick up and start again.

This brings me to one of my most recent adventures: I bought the Tae-Bo aerobic workout tapes. Billy Blanks' television infomercial, with "real" actors and testimonials of fun and fitness, captured my attention. As a product of the instant gratification generation, I was hooked. I eagerly awaited the arrival of my tapes, anticipating that the workout would catapult me into instant physical fitness.

When the tapes came, I ripped open the tape marked "beginner" and popped the tape into the VCR. I was convinced that Billy Blanks and I would become one—and I would instantly achieve muscle and aerobic strength beyond my wildest imagination.

Fifteen minutes into the workout, something terrible happened. I started to sweat. This was going to be hard. I was going to have to follow the routine every day.
Now, don't get me wrong. I know that miracles don't happen—intellectually I knew this tape would only work if I actually did it. But not until the middle of the first work out did I realize that this workout would involve time, sweat, persistence, and patience in order to be effective. I wasn't sure if I was ready.

It's clear that the Tae Bo tape did not provide the instant gratification I desired. By being honest with myself, I did not totally give up on exercise—just Tae Bo. Instead, I revisited my goals—ate a few cookies, got myself read, and tried again. Now I try to go to the gym two to three times during the week. I'm not always perfect—this week I haven't gone at all—but through being honest with myself, and persistence, exercise has become more of a regular part of my routine than ever before.

We have been taught the Gates of Teshuva, like the Gates of Prayer, are always open. May we take advantage of the open gates, to be ready, honest, and persistent to allow our struggle to grow into our ideal selves be more fulfilling and rewarding.

In Judaism, we find rich resources, guiding and helping us to strive to be our ideal self. These three steps are not easy. But instead of rushing to Barnes and Noble, or surfing over to Amazon.com, may we remember that through readiness, honesty and persistence, we can and will continue to grow into our ideal selves.

Amen.

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