Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5761, October 9, 2000
Thank you for coming to listen to all four of us speak here today. Of course one of my friends told me he always comes because it helps take his mind off being hungry. I thought long and hard about what to say to you here today. In fact, so long that I only put pen to paper last week so I hope this comes out OK.
One thing I determined as I thought about this subject is that up until recently, Judaism has been much more about a way of life as opposed to a spiritual or religious influence. I also realized that I have been extremely fortunate that in 31 years I have never really encountered any serious anti-Semitism. However, I have often times been stereotyped as a Jew. The good news is I have always felt and truly believe that the stereotype is a complement. The most typical example is my friends would call me a Jew because I either didn't want to spend money or more often I was always searching for and finding the best deals. The way I see it is: how can you feel bad about saving money? By the way, the Internet has made me even more effective. The other stereotype that is a little bit more difficult to talk about is one of expectations. I have always felt that people have extremely high expectations of Jewish kids to excel both academically as well as in their careers. I don't know why this is the case, but I feel this is also a complement. Perhaps one reason stems from looking at our past as a people. Many of our older generations, including many of you here today, have lived through some difficult times like the Holocaust or even the Great Depression here in America and these experiences made them realize that in order to avoid these types of events they had to push their children very hard to excel. The results, I believe, have been impressive. I personally have always looked at this stereotype as a motivator. Nobody really wants to let people down.
Another impact of Judaism on my life is "how I feel about people". All of my life I have been prone to look out after people either less fortunate than myself or more simply stated, people who get picked on. Rabbi Stahl spoke about this on Rosh Hashanah eve when he told the story about Dr. Abraham Heschel who marched side by side with Dr. Martin Luther King. I was able to identify with Dr. Heschel. I believe that being Jewish has given me the ability to empathize with the situations that many people find themselves in. For instance, when I hear stories of how my great grandfather came to this country alone at 13 years of age with no money in his pocket, I can empathize with a poor person right here in San Antonio today.
When I visited the Holocaust museum in Washington D.C. or even after I watched the movie Saving Private Ryan, I can empathize with anyone who is oppressed or discriminated against based upon their race, religion or even their ideas. In fact, the feelings I had were so strong that it took me about a week to get back to normal after each of those experiences. Something else that experience did for me is to make me realize the incredible sacrifices that our armed servicemen and their families made during those times and continue to make today. I don't know exactly how all my feelings are tied into being Jewish, but I suspect that the years of learning and hearing stories like the story of the oppression in Egypt or stories of the Holocaust have shaped them. I also know that my parents and other family influences helped. But of course their direction most probably came from what they and their parents before them learned from Judaism.
Another impact of Judaism on my life has been a little more of a challenge. What I have talked about so far dealt with feelings. This next subject deals with practices. One of the greatest accomplishments of my life was to convince my childhood friend and long time girlfriend to marry me. The issue that existed was that of her being Catholic and me being Jewish. There was a point in my younger days, before we were serious, that I never really doubted I would marry a Jewish girl. That was just the way things were. Of course, as we get a little bit older, we realize that life does not always play out by the rulebook. One morning when I was in college at The University of Texas up in Austin, I was listening to a talk radio show that I tuned into every once in awhile. It just so happened that the guest was a rabbi. In the program, they were discussing the decreasing population of American Jews due primarily to interfaith marriage. The rabbi made a comment I have never forgotten. He basically said, "We ask our children to attend the best schools in our communities, to play on the best sports teams after school, maybe to join the debate squad or the band, we ask them to go to the best colleges and universities like Harvard" and now I am paraphrasing "or UT", and we ask them to be involved socially at all levels, we ask them to become members of prestigious law firms or medical practices, mostly within the gentile community and yet we ask them not to fall in love along the way." Think about that for just a minute. I know I did. The reality is, I believe, that love is a very strong force and in many cases transcends religious practice.
In preparation of this speech, I looked up the word "reform" just to make certain it is defined exactly as I have always thought it was. One definition I found that applies to this issue is Reform – a particular change and improvement. To simply say reform means change would leave out the most important element of the word. That most important element is the requirement of improvement. I am very happy to be married to a Catholic girl who is an active member here at Temple Beth-El. To me it says that the leadership and members of the reform Jewish movement and particularly people here at Temple Beth-El are living up to the definition of the name of our movement.
Earlier I mentioned that until recently, the impacts of Judaism on my life were more about a way of life as opposed to a spiritual influence. I can track the change I have experienced to one particular event. Exactly 20 months ago tomorrow, Katherine Paige Adelman was born. What an unbelievable experience. Katherine has definitely been a gift from G-D. Since her birth, I have felt a strong desire to pursue my religious faith more seriously. As a result, I have been more active here at Temple Beth-El. The biggest commitment came as I volunteered to become President of the Brotherhood. As Sharon and I teach Katherine about life, religion, family and other important topics, I want to be able to point to my own life as an example. Many times I find myself telling others to do as I say not as I do, just like so many of our parents jokingly said to us. However, I am now starting to feel that I am prepared to tell Katherine to do as I do!
Back to Sermon Page
Home