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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5764, October 6, 2003
I am a Jew by choice. To some persons, both Jews and Christians, I am an enigma. One woman, a Jew, bluntly told me, “I have never understood why anyone would choose to be a Jew.” Her tone of voice was judgmental, and her disdain for my decision was apparent. Thankfully, she has been an outspoken minority of one, and the Jewish community has warmly welcomed me. Friends who are Christians have remained my friends, although they may not understand my decision.
Meaningful dialogue concerning my decision has been limited to discussions with my wife, Diana, several close friends, and the rabbis who mentored me on my journey. Frankly, I have preferred not to discuss my decision with many people because it is, to me, a very private and personal decision. But Rabbi Block asked me to speak today on “The Impact of Judaism on My Life”. For those born as Jews, speaking on the topic is perhaps an opportunity to reaffirm some meaningful aspect of Judaism in their lives. But for a recent Jew by choice, the topic necessarily entails a reexamination of the underlying reasons for a profound change in one's religious identity.
To say that I “converted” to Judaism is a mischaracterization. I am the same person now that I was before. I simply decided to declare publicly who I am and admit that I had been sitting in the wrong pew. To admit that I had been sitting in the wrong pew is not intended to be a condemnation of any other religion. I possess neither the wisdom nor the desire to declare one religion “right” and another religion “wrong”. Religious expression is but our feeble attempt to articulate that which transcends denominational boundaries. Yet I have chosen, and continue to choose, to align myself with a religious expression which resonates to the core of my innermost being. Ours is an ancient heritage, a lineage whose very existence and name, Yisrael, is premised upon our self-conscious and continuing struggle to understand the Eternal and the responsibility which that understanding brings.
But how did I come to be on this bimah today speaking to you of my decision to become a Jew? When and where and how did this journey begin?
Over 25 years ago, Jean White invited me to sing in the Temple choir on High Holy Days. The words of the liturgy and the music evoked familiar haunting echoes from some distant time and place. I felt as though I had come home.
More than once I called the Temple office and inquired about the Introduction to Judaism course. It had either already started or there would be some other conflict in my schedule or I would simply get cold feet. Finally, three years ago, I began the course here at Temple. With the able assistance and guidance of Rabbi Samuel Stahl, Rabbi Barry Block and Rabbi Allison Bergman Vann, I successfully completed the course. But there was a problem. Because my wife, Diana, was not converting, I was not permitted to participate in the conversion ceremony with my classmates here at the Temple. I must be honest with you. Although I knew of the Temple policy in advance, it was a hurtful experience.
Not to be deterred, I continued my search and was introduced to Rabbi Julie Hilton Danan who caringly took me under her wing. She met and talked with Diana and me, scheduled my ritual immersion at Rodfei Sholom and arranged for my hatafat dam brit, supervised and blessed by Rabbi Block. She then convened a Beit Din composed of Rabbi Danan, Rabbi Ira Flax, a Conservative rabbi who is an Air Force chaplain, and Cantor David Silverstein of Congregation Agudas Achim. The Beit Din questioned me and, satisfied with my study and sincerity, welcomed me into the family of Israel.
After completing this rite of passage, I chose to return and become a member of Temple Beth-El. It is a decision which I do not regret. Old friends, including the rabbis, welcomed me back, and I was immediately presented with numerous opportunities for service, learning and growth.
For example, I serve with Janet Alyn, another of our speakers today, on the Kimmelman scholarship review committee. Before I became a member of Temple, I would never have imagined that I would be the sole male on a committee of women whose function is to review applications and select recipients for child care scholarships. It has been an humbling and rewarding experience. The applicants for these scholarships are impoverished individuals whose stories are heartbreaking. Most are women struggling to find the resources necessary to complete educational goals in order to improve their lives and those of their children. Hopefully, the child care scholarships which we as a congregation provide through the Kimmelman fund will enable these needy persons to achieve their goals.
Temple is also deeply committed to adult Jewish growth, and I am a fortunate beneficiary. Last year, several of us completed the adult b'nai mitzvah class and were bar and bat mitzvah on Simchat Torah. Long hours of study and endless repetition not only led to the blessing of being called to the Torah, it also produced lasting bonds of friendship and respect between those of us who accomplished our goal together.
Singing is what led me to Temple over 25 years ago and it continues to be an integral and important part of my life as a Jew. Indeed, I cannot imagine Jewish life and Jewish worship without singing. I fully understand the psalmist when he declared, “Sing to the Lord a new song, sing to the Lord all the earth.”
So, that is a brief summary of the how, when and where. But why? Why would I choose to be a Jew? There is no simple, singular answer.
In Judaism there is a profound honesty and candor. As Jews, we are free to use our minds and challenge our beliefs. We encourage and welcome open and frank discussion. Often we do not agree. But interpretation and reinterpretation leads inevitably to new insight and understanding. Indeed, this is the essence of Torah. The truth is never static and is ever evolving. Similarly, we know that we do not have an exclusive insight into truth and acknowledge the meaningful contributions made to humanity by persons of other religions and faiths.
There is also in Judaism room for both faith and doubt. Healthy doubt which causes us to look beyond and not be satisfied with glib dogmatic tenets. Doubt which enables me to say with confidence that even if the faith of Israel should prove to be nothing more than an illusion, nevertheless, it is a purposeful and worthwhile endeavor.
Life is a beautiful gift, and we are given a choice. We can choose good, or we can choose evil. It is our choice. It is my choice. Creation is not completed, and we possess the opportunity and responsibility of sharing in the task. If this world is ever to be a better place, it is up to us to make it so.
The Creator has placed within me a need to embrace the Eternal and, in turn, to be embraced. I am a Jew because there is within me a yearning, which I cannot adequately put into words, a hope, an expectation, a conviction that life is holy and imbued with meaning and purpose.
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