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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5764, October 6, 2003
When I left the University of Texas in the Spring of 1986, I never thought I would be an officer of Temple Beth El. I never thought I would care how our Religious School ran. I never thought I would spend so much time on the business of my Temple. While I had cultural ties to Judaism and had pledged ZBT and surrounded myself with Jewish friends, I did not realize how strong my allegiance was to this Temple or Judaism. When I moved back to San Antonio after law school and joined the Temple as an adult, I still did not understand how strong my ties were to Judaism.
Even at thirty years old, I really did not know the impact Judaism had on me, although, I am indebted to Rabbi Stahl's wife, Lynn, for playing matchmaker and reintroducing me to a Sunday School classmate from Temple Beth El, Amy Solomon. Amy and I were married on this same Bimah where we had been confirmed thirteen years before. While we had committed to live a Jewish life and to raise Jewish children, it was not until we started to educate Jewish children that I could appreciate what Judaism really meant to me.
A few weeks ago as I drove our seven year old, Emily, to Religious School, (we don't call it Sunday school anymore), she asked me: “Daddy, why are you at Temple so much?” I told her that I was one of the vice presidents on the Board of Trustees. She asked me: “Daddy what is a vice president?”
I told her that my job for the Temple was to help run the business of the Temple. She got real quiet and said, Daddy I have another question. “If you help run the business of the Temple, Does that mean you are Avram's boss and can tell him what to do?” I told her that Avram does such a great job that I wouldn't tell him what to do or how to do it. Emily's Jewish education is today is very different from mine when I attended “Sunday School”-not Religious School. Emily takes for granted how enjoyable, stimulating and fun Religious School is today. Emily takes for granted how much more aware of her religion she is than I was at her age.
Since my Sunday School experience was not as much fun or stimulating as Emily's Religious School experience, how did I return to San Antonio, join my Temple, marry a Jewish woman, raise Jewish children, and come to serve on the Temple board?
My Jewish faith and love for Temple Beth-El began with my Bar Mitzvah. I did not make the decision to make a Bar Mitzvah until I was 12 years old--I had a crash course in Hebrew, two days a week, at Daniele and Tibor Ritter's house. While I remember being terrified on Friday night as I said the prayers for the Torah and Kiddush, I was only marginally scared on Saturday when I completed my Bar Mitzvah. Later that day, I had the sense of pride that I had completed a tradition of the Jewish People that was most special. I knew that our religion was special and I made a great achievement.
The process of learning Hebrew and completing my Bar Mitzvah shaped my life. After learning Hebrew and studying Torah, I became proud of being Jewish and I believed I was chosen by God to be blessed. While I cannot recall having faith in God at thirteen, I thought that our Jewish religion made it possible for me to be closer to God. Additionally, I had a profound sense of accomplishment for having learned a very foreign language. While I did not mind the shower of gifts that flowed from the Bar Mitzvah process, the three most precious gifts I received were: 1) a foundation for a belief in God, 2) pride in education, and 3) pride in my Jewish heritage.
While I had enjoyed a culturally Jewish life in high school and college, my Jewish faith in God did not re-emerge until Law School. Maybe it was the fear of law school exams or being a first year law student, but I found myself attending High Holy day services with Southern Methodist University graduate and undergraduate students on Campus. I recall asking God to let me make good enough grades so that I wouldn't be the first member of my family to flunk out of law school. I believed that if God wanted me to be a lawyer, then through hard work, I could achieve that goal. On the other hand, if going to class, taking notes, and studying wasn't enough, then God did not think the world needed another Lang lawyer.
My Jewish faith has also helped me handle serious disappointments. In the summer of 1992, I experienced a defeat that I could not understand or appreciate. Because of the ways Judaism had shaped my thought process, I was able to find meaning in the loss. I had been working as an insurance defense attorney, whose job it was to help the insurance companies keep as much of their money for as long as possible. I was on the losing end of a very, very large verdict. I took the loss personally and contemplated another career. Thankfully, I got married soon thereafter, and my wife, Amy, dragged me to Dallas for her Oncology fellowship. Without that devastating loss, I am not sure how I would have viewed the move to Dallas. Without the devastating loss, I would not have considered a career change.
I had a new opportunity to decide how I wanted to practice law. I had always been proud of the Jewish civil rights lawyers who had worked to desegregate the South and who fought for equal rights. I had studied the history of the Anti Defamation League in College and thought civil rights law would be more inspiring than defending insurance companies. I realized I had been working on the wrong side of the docket for the wrong type of client for me. While I had immense respect for the life long friends at the defense firm that trained me, my personality was much more suited to help individuals who could not help themselves. Knowing the Jewish values instilled by the Ten Commandments and the importance of Tzedakah, I was motivated to represent the under-represented.
I wanted to work at the Dallas Legal Aid office on civil rights cases but getting hired was more difficult than I thought. I had to convince the Legal Aid office in Dallas to overlook my very Conservative resume, my internship with then State Senator Cyndi Krier and my clerkship for the Honorable Edith Jones, a federal appellate judge. Legal Aid must have thought I was an undercover Republican mole. Thankfully, they had a momentary lapse in judgment and hired me anyway.
The mission statement of the ADL articulated the spiritual and moral satisfaction I have found in handling civil rights cases.
Its ultimate purpose is to secure justice and fair treatment to all citizens alike and to put an end forever to unjust and unfair discrimination against and ridicule of any sect or body of citizens.
I believe that my Jewish faith and Jewish culture guided me to this stimulating and satisfying practice of law.
Since our return to San Antonio, Amy and I have focused on raising Jewish children. Our girls have watched Fiddler on the Roof so many times that they think an arranged marriage is typical (so does Lynn Stahl) and Alexandra, our four year old, wants to marry Motel, the tailor. We have worked hard to educate Emily and Alexandra in our Jewish history, prayers, and rituals. Our work has paid off as we have proudly watched them make the Sabbath prayers and traditions their own. Our girls look forward to a Sabbath dinner, with blessings over the candles, bread and wine almost every Friday night. The importance of Judaism and this Temple is also shared by Amy, who has creatively made the Jewish Holidays fun for our daughters and has patiently supported the time consuming commitment required by my Board Service.
My Jewish faith and values have inspired my friendship and law partnership with my other, daytime, Jewish Spouse, Danny Kustoff. By sharing a law practice with another Jew, who shares very similar values, my career is even more satisfying. The conflicts, mis-communications and mis-understandings that typify many business relationships are absent with like minded partners. Finally, we both share a common commitment to the Jewish community and our unpaid work for our community Jewish institutions is not a source of strife, but a conviction we both feel. As a committed Jew and Temple member, Danny, understands and encourages my service to this Temple and the Board of Trustees, despite the time it has and will take away from our law practice.
Amy and I have also tried to instill in our children a sense of respect for our Jewish worship services and this Temple. Emily made a recent comment that indicated to me that she may be getting the message. Unless I am going to Court, I rarely wear a suit. Most days for me are casual days. Emily loves to see what color shirt I am wearing with khakis when I leave for work so she can match me with her school uniform. Two weeks ago I had Court hearings on Friday and was wearing a suit and tie. She took one look at me and asked, Daddy, why are you dressed up? Are we going to Temple tonight?
Judaism has enriched my life in many ways, sprititually, culturally, and professionally. I am proud of my Jewish heritage and my religion. I am grateful how Judaism has shaped my values and thought process. I hope our girls find it as fulfilling as I have.
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