It is a great honor to be able to speak today on the impact Judaism has had on my life. It was ironic that the day I received the letter requesting me to participate was when I was home recovering from a car accident. Lynn Stahl had called me that morning to see how I was feeling. She commented how my life was never a dull moment with very little gray. It seems I am either facing rain clouds as my family have experienced much illness and loss or we were experiencing pure sunshine as we have such blessings and joy...real ups and downs. Therefore when the letter came that afternoon I thought how Judaism was so woven into the fabric of my life. Judaism is what helps me play the cards I am dealt. It does not prevent the rain but it can be my umbrella that shelters me in time of need. In times of happiness Judaism is there with its many rituals and traditions that bring families together to count our blessings for the gift of life. Spirituality is very much like character...it usually gets built during adversity. I wish at times I have not had to lean so hard on my religion, and yet the wisdom and perspective I have is so valuable to me. It has also taught me you can not always judge what Judaism means to other people. For me it runs deep and personal and with an ongoing struggle to fully define it, embrace it and savor it.

There are so many impressions I have about being Jewish. There are memories of a Grandfather who left the old country at age 12 never to see his family again because they ultimately died in concentration camps. He raised his family in a small town in Mississippi and they were the only Jewish family. Can you imagine his surprise when my Mom went to College at LSU and her college roommate's father was my Grandfather's best friend from a small village where he grew up in Lithuania. He never thought he would see anyone from his childhood again. This reconnection was so important to my Grandfather and our family because it seemed to remind us how deep our roots are and how hope never dies.

Then there is the memory of growing up in Beaumont with a small Jewish congregation. Since most of our friends were not Jewish my parents worked hard to not only make us proud of our Judaism but to allow us to share this with our friends. Hanukkah was a time where we invited friends over often to allow them to experience the fun. One of my non-Jewish friends decided she wanted to be Jewish...she said she liked eight nights of presents and how much food we always had in the refrigerator...a Jewish tradition of course. I must admit that I assumed everyone had family as close as mine. Many years later I now know that is not always the case. Yet I cherish the strong sense of family that is a cornerstone of our religion. Now in some ways I feel my Jewish Life is beginning a brand new phase as our almost 6 year old son begins Religious School and we become the teachers to him of his Judaism. Already the High Holidays have added meaning to my husband Rob and I as we set an example for our child.

Yet since today I am to talk specifically about certain aspects of Judaism that have had the greatest impact I have chosen the following. The first is the tradition of mitzvah. The second is that of tzedakah. The third is the Jewish Life Cycle.

One of my favorite things about Judaism is that it is based on a philosophy of helping others and building your good name on the good deeds you do. I had a very close relationship with my Mom's Mom and from the time I was a little girl she was a role model for me. Every day of her life she did a mitzvah for someone. She would not go to sleep at night until she had accomplished this. She taught me that you did not do this for credit of recognition. You did not do this by spending a lot of money on someone...you did this because every day was a clean slate and a chance to share your kindness and your heart with someone beside yourself. I try so hard to always have a giving nature. In addition my parents stressed to my family how your good name is so important and based on who you are and how you act to others instead of what you have. On my Grandparents' head stone is something from our Jewish prayer book that reads, "That I may live on in deeds that bless other lives and leave behind me the heritage of a good name." I am so proud of the compassion and the unselfish deeds that my grandparents on both sides of my family and my parents and my sisters have done for others. Judaism has taught us well and made me proud of the self respect that comes from having done for others.

This leads into the philosophy of charity or tzedakah that is so important in Judaism. I often think where the world would be without Jewish giving. For me personally this has translated into the many causes I have been involved with and the sense of pride that comes from charitable giving. I think maybe at times however I have not always directed my charitable leanings as much as I should towards Jewish causes. Judaism has impacted me to give to others at yet at times I direct this less toward a Jewish Family Service or my own Temple than community causes or fundraisers. It seems however as each year passes that I am finding my Jewish heritage means more to me and that my need for more Jewish involvement is increasing. This was especially driven home as our son Ryan took his first quarter to Religious School for his tzedakah. He is in his first year and already he understands the need to give. Standing up and making a charitable gift for Judaism is so important. This is something we will enjoy doing with Ryan and for Ryan. Being Jewish requires a commitment that is often hard to make. Yet for me it is my heritage and my legacy. Tzedakah reminds me daily of this.

The last area I want to address is the Jewish Life Cycles. More than any religion I know Judaism seems to understand and celebrate milestones in our lives. From the berit to bar mitzvah to the huppah to a minion...there is a ritual and an occasion that acknowledges the ebb and flow of life...the joy of a birth and the pain of a loss. When my husband and I had a daughter born with rare heart problems we turned to God and to Judaism for comfort and spiritual support. Sure the congregation was there for us as the Rabbi was...Yet how comforting that our religion in and of itself knew how to guide us through this difficult time. When hit with this tough news we thought, "Why, God, why us?" Through the constant conversation with Rabbi Stahl and ongoing prayer, we made a peace that we were not being picked on and certainly were not alone. We discovered Judaism has a practical approach that is not based on a blind faith - it allowed us to express honest emotion as we questioned God and our situation. We went forward to embrace this experience and to make the most of every day of Melissa's life. We focused on the quality and gift of her life because Judaism showed us how to celebrate what we were given. We made a choice to be enrich not embittered by her short 2½ years. We are convinced that God gave us this strength to cope. We were basically still newcomers to this community and yet the outpouring of love from the Rabbi and congregation still overwhelms us today. If Judaism is what houses peoples' souls, we were indeed home surrounded by an incredible family. Judaism is a religion that remembers those that die through prayer and through yahrzeit, and later today the memorial service. After Melissa's death we found again Rabbi Stahl and our religion there to help us. I often thought maybe Christianity had an edge on us because of its strong belief in the afterlife. Yet I soon realized how our souls are eternal, and our loved ones live on in our hearts. Inscribe us in the book of life...so long as we live they too shall live...a time to live and to rejoice and to die. We have found our loss not easy to bear. Yet we have found Judaism understanding of this pain and able to help us stay connected to God instead of turning away from him in our hurt. For me Judaism has been a blanket to help shoulder the heartache. Through Judaism I have learned sorrow and happiness just like life and death walk side by side. This was brought home so clearly during the week we brought our son home seven months after Melissa's death. Our absolute joy was so overshadowed by the death of our dear friends Claudia and David Ladensohn's son Graham. To every season there is a time to live and die...yet at times like that week it was so overwhelming and too much to fathom. Yet our faith guided us. Once again we knew if we asked why about our tragedies, we would ask why about our blessings. How fortunate for me that my religion is here for me through the good and the bad.

As said in last night's service:

Birth is a beginning
Death is a destination
Life is a journey
From fear to faith we see that victory lies not at some high place
but in having made the journey, stage by stage.

I am so grateful for my journey and the perspective, the wisdom, and the gratitude for each new day that Judaism has given me.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. I wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season.

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