Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5759, September 30, 1998
Rabbi Stahl invited me to speak about the impact of Judaism on my life and he suggested that I might focus on one holiday or one particularly meaningful aspect of my life as a Jew. However, I realized that my strong identification with Judaism derives not from one event or person. Instead, for most of my life it has been my Jewish community and friends with whom I identified; it was my larger Jewish family that was there for me in the good times, as well as the difficult ones.
Today I'd like to spend just a few minutes sharing a few of those special events that shaped me as a Jew. I did grow up Jewish and my parents were very involved in the congregation. As Rabbi Stahl mentioned, most of my childhood was spent in a relatively small town, Los Alamos, New Mexico. There were approximately 35 Jewish families, an intensely cohesive community. Although we had no Rabbi, we did have a Jewish Center, but we were not affiliated with any branch of Judaism.
In fact, in order to accomodate individuals of quite diverse backgrounds, we used the Conservative prayer book. My mother used to refer to Friday night services as "Dealer's Choice." The proportions of the service done in Hebrew, as opposed to English often depended entirely on which member of the congregation had volunteered to lead that evening. Services were always well attended. There was a religious school. It was staffed entirely by volunteers. Typically, these were parents, but even I was recruited to teach at the age of 14. We were a community that worked together, and, as I remember it, most members participated. In looking back, my absolute favorite memory from Los Alamos was the Passover Seder. Each year on the first night of Pesach, the entire community would gather in the Jewish Center to celebrate together. It was truly one big family. When my father passed away during my junior year of high school, it was this Jewish community and the many loving friends that held my immediate family together; Judaism provided our strength and support.
Thus, when I left for the University of Denver the following year, I immediately turned to the Jewish student group, to look for that same closeness. Instead, I found a loosely associated Hillel organization, which was, at that time, without a Rabbi. Therefore, a group of us in the dorm began to organize "creative" services. Typically these were written around "social consiousness" themes. After all, it was the early 70s and we were still fighting for causes like Soviet Jewry and women's rights. The following year, a Rabbi arrived at the University of Denver and our services became a little more conventional, but, by then, I had discovered my new Jewish family.
In addition, while at the University of Denver, I was given a very special opportunity. In 1973, I was selected to participate in a Leadership Training Seminar, sponsored by the Israeli government. After 3 weeks of course work in Haifa, I spent another 1-1/2 months touring Israel. This was my first introduction to the larger Jewish community. I was particularly touched by my visits to Masada. For the first time in my life, I felt part of the much larger "world-wide" Jewish family.
The next year, because I was a female college student and a bit outspoken at times, I was selected as one of the delegates from Colorado to attend the First Annual Jewish Women's Liberation Conference in New York City. Although this wasn't quite as awe-inspiring as Masada, it succeeded in motivating me in a different way. At the conference, I met Bella Abzug, a flamboyant Congresswoman, who was known for her bizarre hats as much as for her fervor in fighting for women's rights and other liberal causes. She inspired me to stand up for those things I believe in. Although it no doubt bothers my children, I am always the parent calling the school when a problem arises, like suggesting that the band concert scheduled no doubt mistakenly for Erev Yom Kippur be moved to a different date, like next week.
For all these reasons, my years at DU probably had the biggest impact on me as a Jew. However, we all eventually graduate from college and I, too, left that "family" and moved to Brandeis Unversity for my graduate studies. I chose Brandeis for the science, the religion, and the liberal attitudes. However, strangely enough, during my five years there, Judaism was not a priority for me. Was it because I was very busy learning to become a scientist or was it because everything Jewish was provided and I didn't feel personally involved? To this day, I am not certain. I did continue to hold Seders every year (as I had since 1973), but I barely participated outside of my own home. Nonetheless, when I decided to marry a fellow graduate student who had been brought up Catholic, there was no doubt in my mind that our future children would be Jewish.
I missed the closeness of involvement with a Jewish community, and I was convinced that for me as a Jew, I should choose a smaller community where I could feel more at home. However, in science, one goes where the jobs are, so 15 years ago, Dave and I moved to San Antonio. To me, this was a very big city and Temple Beth-El seemed immense. However, to my pleasant surprise, in spite of its size, I have found a definite feeling of "family" in our community here. There are many opportunities for individuals to participate if they want. Moreover, the Rabbis have an uncanny ability to make each and every one of us (and even our mothers when they visit) feel important.
However, what I most appreciate is the emphasis on children. The religious education program is outstanding. However, just as importantly, the holidays are celebrated in ways that involve the children. My absolute favorite is Simchat Torah, when the children help re-roll the Torah scroll. For many of them this is their first chance to see the Torah up-close and personal; it moves me as an adult, as well.
So, I am thrilled that Dave and I ended up in San Antonio. I truly believe that I have found my Jewish family again. However, I'm not sure I really understood how much Judaism meant to me until last March when my son was preparing for his Bar Mitzvah. He was rehearsing "Oseh Shalom," and I was standing in the hallway. His voice was hauntingly beautiful and the words of peace took on life for me. I couldn't stop the tears. His Bar Mitzvah the following month was very special. We have been blessed with a tremendously supportive family, and both our Jewish and our Catholic relatives were here to celebrate this special day with us.
Several people in attendance commented that they hadn't realized what a large part of Judaism was community involvement. I do like to think that the precepts of our religion translate into our everyday lives. In fact, I would like to end by sharing a tradition that we began two years ago in our labs. Dave and I asked our employees not to buy us holiday or birthday gifts, but to make a donation to the SAMM shelter instead. We said that we would match any such gifts. This small act has brought our "work family" closer together.
I hope that my children will learn, as I have, that we as Jews are responsible for our own acts and that whatever we do should help to make life better for other members of our immediate family, our Temple family, or the larger community. Thank you.
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