This is a special Shabbat for my family and me, as Lauren becomes a Bat Mitzvah. Lauren has taken her studies, not just with dedication, but also with enthusiasm. We have been planning this day for many months, as she has studied, and even years, as she attended Hebrew school. Yet there is no way to plan that this Shabbat will bring what I call a Perfect Moment. Perfect Moments cannot be planned in advance. They happen unexpectedly and are rare. A profoundness and stillness stir inside of our souls, and take our breaths away. Indeed, breath and soul are the same word in Hebrew, Neshamah, that spark of G-dliness within each of us.
There is a place I return to where once I had a Perfect Moment. It is quiet and off the beaten path, with oak trees and an old well enclosed by a stone wall. I always feel renewed after a visit. At first, I liked to sit on the stone wall and then the child in me would throw pennies into the well and make wishes. But one day, I drove up, and there, next to the stone wall, was a small sign that read “Please do not sit on the wall!” I was stunned! I looked around. How could this be? In a town filled with hundreds of stone walls where people stop to rest, how could this unassuming stone wall in the middle of nowhere suddenly have a do-not sit sign? Yet I fancied to myself that G-d knows just how meaningful this stone wall is to me and doesn't want anyone sitting on it, and so I don't disobey the sign and instead go lean by the well, and do my reflecting there. It has actually given me more opportunity to further explore the grounds, and I came upon a peaceful stream nearby. Yet in the future when I hope to return, I will not be taken back if one day there is a sign that says, “Please don't lean up against the well!”
On this Shabbat Shuva, the Shabbat of Return, G-d is calling out to us to return. There is no doubt that we, as Jews, are bound up with the Torah in a reciprocal relationship. From that bound relationship and through that bound relationship, we can do Teshuvah, our Return to G-d. In our Torah portion, Parashat Ha'azinu, Moses declares in his poetry to the Israelites that they are to “take to heart” all of the Torah and to teach the laws to their children. “The Torah is your very life,” he tells them, and “through it you shall endure.”
Moses also says that “G-d's deeds are perfect”, that all G-d's ways are just; A Faithful G-d, never false, True and upright is G-d. Yet we are confused by these words. How can G-d of True Perfection exist alongside evil in this world? I believe that the best way to understanding evil, to reveal its mystery and its direct individual or indirect collective hold on us, is to demystify it.
Evil is mentioned over six hundred times in the Bible. The first mention of evil takes places in Genesis in the creation story. All was good in creation up to the point of Eve and Adam's transgression-eating the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. In Biblical Hebrew, the language of the Torah, good and evil are written as tov and ra.
Yet not all the six hundred usages of ra in the Bible have been translated into the English word evil. Other translations in the Bible of ra include wrong, wicked, bad, crime, disaster, harm, pain, trouble, injury, displease and offend. All for the same word ra.
My interpretation of that infamous event is that this is a tree of knowledge of good and harm, and it offered us humans the possibilities of good and harm. G-d's love for us is so immense that G-d did not want us to be harmed. We all know there are things that, if we do them, we are going to be harmed. Then, we do them anyway, and are indeed harmed. Later, we vow that it will never happen again. And hopefully, we take to heart these warnings and integrate them into our lives and by doing so, we are physically healthier.
Still, not only our physical selves may be harmed, but also our spiritual selves may be harmed as well. If we speak unkind words, we will lose our loved ones. If we live by arrogant actions, our respect will be lost. If we try to impose our will on others, there will be war. We point to others and say it is them that do these things, and the others point to us. Despite this, we continue to do these destructive things because we are human. We are not perfect; only G-d is of Perfection. We cannot have expectations of Perfect Moments for ourselves. Even G-d does not expect us to be perfect, just to be better.
We try to be compassionate and forgiving to others and ourselves but we really don't take the time to heed those expectations from G-d. Instead of attempting to study and pray for revelation of Torah, to guide us through difficult and painful decisions, we choose to distance ourselves safely from it. But this safety comes at a cost and this cost is that we distance ourselves further from our return to ourselves, our loved ones and ultimately, our Return to G-d.
I believe G-d gave to the Jewish people Israel as a physical safe haven and the Torah as a spiritual safe haven. Most certainly it does not appear there is safety in Israel at present, but then again safety often comes at a cost. The Torah for thousands of years has gone where Jews have had to go. It literally was carried out of villages when Jewish people had to flee from harm's way. It left when my mother-in-law Rose had to leave France when she was just slightly older than Lauren is now. What must she have been thinking to leave behind her home that day? What must she have been feeling to see for the last time beloved family and friends? All because she was Jewish. The Torah is our continuity. It has been written that, as the Torah is the foundation of the universe and sustains its existence, Teshuvah, the repentance of transgressions, insures its survival, and that there is no transgression that cannot be mended by Teshuvah. We ourselves are tied to our Return to G-d, made possible by the words of the Torah and Tefilah, Prayer.
Tefilah unites us closer to G-d by offering us the opportunity to ascend higher into the spiritual world where we momentarily may have a Perfect Moment with G-d. In the end of Parashat Ha'azinu, which Lauren will read tomorrow morning, Moses is told by G-d to ascend the mountain from which he will be able to see the Land of Israel. There he will die, without entering the land. We question how can Moses not be allowed to enter, after struggling to bring the Israelites out of Egypt, fighting to keep the tribes together for forty years during ensuing hardships, and now leading them to the border of Israel? It is written in the Zohar that G-d was saying that Moses was not allowed to enter at this time. Instead, during the time of Messianic redemption, Moses will enter the Holy Land. G-d always answers our prayers. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes it is no. And sometimes the answer is not at this time.
One day there will come a time in my life, when I will no longer be able to return to my beautiful place where long ago I had a Perfect Moment. I may move to Israel or somewhere else, or maybe I will still be here and just too old to make the trip. But wherever I am, I know I will be studying Torah, still searching for revelation with persistence and passion. I know my Tanakh will be beside me when I sleep. And I know that the G-d of True Perfection will be with me there. For the Talmud tells us that every relationship with a divine purpose will last and endure Forever.
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