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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5765, September 25, 2004
I was recently visiting my mother's grave and I was looking at the headstone that I had seen a hundred times. On this particular occasion, the years of her birth and death caught my eye. My mother died at the young age of 38. Yet in those years, she married, moved to America, helped my father establish a successful business and raised four children. I for one cannot imagine moving to a country where you did not speak the language or know the customs and attempt to start a new life and raise a family. But her children went on to earn four undergraduate degrees and four graduate degrees, including two doctorates. My sister is an eye surgeon. I am an attorney. My other sisters are equally accomplished. In one generation my family has gone from immigrants who did not speak english to successful professionals. My family has realized the American dream.
Despite not having much formal education, my mother accomplished quite a bit during her short life. By just about anyone's standards, my mother's life was very successful. And yet, it struck me that her entire life was reduced to the “Dash” that separated the years of her birth and death. It was at that moment that it became very clear to me what I wanted to talk about during my few minutes with you.
In these last few hours of the high holy days, during what is supposed to be a period of introspection and reflection, I hope that we will all take a moment to think about what each of us is doing with our “Dash”. Have you used your life to make a difference or have you squandered your days in trivial and unproductive activities? At the end of our life, will we be able to earnestly say that we had a positive impact on the people whose lives we have touched? Will we be able to say that we have used our best efforts to be a loving and supportive spouse; a devoted and involved parent; and that have we shared the blessings that God has given us with those less fortunate? Will we be able to say that we dealt with others with understanding and compassion or will we have been too quick to find fault with others? Will we one day realize that we spent too much energy being angry and bitter over other people's transgressions against us and that we spent our days holding grudges and denying forgiveness. Have we been thankful for the many blessings in our lives or have we wasted our time lamenting about the things we had hoped for but never were?
We frequently hear that the Jews are God's chosen people. Any one who has read the Torah cannot deny truth of that statement. And while it is of great pride to know that you are counted among God's chosen people, how much time do we spend thinking about what responsibility comes with such a great honor?
With the last name of Woo, it may surprise some in the audience to know that I was not born Jewish. One of the things I wrestled with before converting was “How does one presume to suddenly include himself among God's chosen people?” “How is it that I am worthy of being counted among a people who have a covenant with God?” For me the answers did not come quickly or easily.
For many years before formally converting, I lived a Jewish lifestyle. My wife Andrea was born a Jew and we kept a Jewish home and observed all of the traditional holidays. We would attend services, and even though at first I did not understand the structure of the service, much less the Hebrew, there was something about the prayers that reached out to me. What appealed to me the most was that unlike other faiths wherein it seems none of us are worthy and it is only by God's grace that we exist, Judaism has such a wonderfully positive and powerful message that given the opportunity man can and will do good. Instead of treating our lives as something you must endure on your way to your ultimate reward, our tradition teaches us that we should use our best efforts to have a positive impact on the lives of the people around us and to serve our fellow man.
I want to read to you the meditation passage that precedes one of the Shabbath worship services in our regular prayer book:
Looking inward, I see that all too often I fail to use time and talent to improve myself and to serve others. And yet, there is in me much goodness, and a yearning to use my gifts for the wellbeing of those around me. This Shabbath calls me to renew my vision, to fulfill the best that is within me. For this I look to God for help.Give meaning to my life and substance to my hopes; help me to understand those about me and fill me with the desire to serve them. Let me not forget that I depend on others as they depend on me; Quicken my heart and hand to lift them up; make fruitful my words of prayer, that they may fulfill themselves in deeds.
This passage embodies the best of the Jewish faith. That although we strive to be the best we can be, we often fall short of the mark. But instead of feeling defeated and giving up, God sees our efforts and strengthens us to continue to try and do better the next time. Our tradition encourages us to see the good in other people and reminds us that when faced with difficult choices, we are all capable of doing the right thing. I found great comfort in these underlying concepts. Gradually, over a seventeen year period, I got more and more comfortable trying to live my life guided by these principals until one day I knew this was where I belonged. My wife and I have a son Cameron and he was about to begin his formal Jewish education. I knew that it was time for me to make a formal commitment to Judaism so that I could set the kind of example I wanted him to see.
I started college just down the block at San Antonio College. I used to park in parking lot on Belknap and walked right past the main doors of this sanctuary every day. I always wondered what was going on behind those imposing looking doors. Little did I know I was so close to being home. It took me twenty-five years to walk through those doors but I am so glad I did. Walking through those doors has paved the way to a life that is rich and filled with purpose.
I believe that being among God's chosen people requires us to set the best example we can for others. Judaism has helped me to focus my energy on what am I doing with my life today. To focus on the question that when I reach the end of my days, what will I be able to say that I did with my “Dash”. It reminds me to constantly ask myself “Have I been a loving and supportive spouse?”; “Have I stressed the teachings of the Jewish faith, to my son so that he understands his responsibilities to God, his family, and his neighbors?”; “Have I been to honest and forth right with the people I dealt with?” “Have I been compassionate and helpful to those around me who are in need?”; “Have I conducted myself in a way that reflects well on the Jewish people?”
Anti-Semitism has many sources and may in fact be on the rise here in America. But I don't care. I do not hide the fact that I am Jewish and my family and I proudly observe Jewish customs and traditions. I am happy to discuss our beliefs and traditions with anyone who really cares to learn about Judaism. I do this in part because I feel that at least some anti-Semitism is the result of ignorance and misinformation about our faith. I find it amazing how little most people know about Judaism. But if I conduct myself with honesty, compassion, dignity, and fairness, and set a good example, then perhaps I can change peoples' perception of Jews. It is my hope that as to the people I come in contact with that they will have a little better understanding of the tenants of the Jewish faith and what guides us in our daily lives. It is further my hope that these people will have a better understanding and impression of Jews than they had before.
This is not unlike what I try to do in my professional life. Most people don't understand what lawyers do for a living any more than they understand Judaism. Most people believe lawyers no longer have any professionalism or ethics. The misunderstanding of a lawyers role and the unethical conduct of a few lawyers have in recent years given what was once a respected profession a bad name. My faith has had an impact on the way I practice law in that I always ask myself, “Am I doing the right thing by my client, have I recommended a course of action that is the most efficient and cost effective?”; “In a litigation matter, am I trying to resolve my client's problem by finding a solution that is just and fair or am I more concerned with beating the other side?”
I am trying to do my part to heal the image of lawyers by conducting myself with the highest degree of professionalism and deal with people in a respectful, straightforward and honest manner. It is my hope that as to the people I deal with, their image of lawyers will be better than it was before.
I am not naïve as to my ability to change anti-Semitism any more than I think that I alone will be able to change the public's image of lawyers. I can't do it by myself, but I can do my part.
I want to close by relating a story about a man who is walking on the beach one morning.
A man walking is walking on a beach one morning and sees thousands of star fish washed up on the shore. As he continues down the beach, he comes across a boy throwing the star fish back into the sea one at a time. The man walks up to the boy and ask “Why are you doing that? You can't hope save all of these star fish by yourself. Do you really think you can make a difference?” The boy turns as he throws another star fish back into the sea and says to the man “Maybe not,…but I made a difference to that one.”
Our acts and deeds can have a more profound effect than we realize. I was ten years old when my mother died. And even though she was with me only a relatively few years, in those years she showed me examples of hard work and perseverance and filled me with core values that guide me to this day. She made me feel safe and clothed me in a mother's love that I still feel in my life 37 years after her death. I hope that when my mother looks down from heaven she looks at me and says “I made a difference to that one.”
I hope that all of us will think of ourselves as that little boy on the beach and that as we reach out to touch the lives of our family and friends we will be able to look up and say “I made a difference that one”.
Shabbat Shalom. G'Mar Tov.
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