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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5766, October 13, 2005
Early this summer I received a letter from Rabbi Block asking me to speak on “The Impact of Judaism in my Life” at the Yom Kippur symposium. Of course, my immediate reaction was to say, “NO WAY, NO HOW!”
I am not a public speaker and am not comfortable being in front of a group of people, especially when I'm supposed to be talking about myself. Then, I started thinking that I do have a story to share and that this is one of those opportunities for personal growth. So, here I am, much to the surprise of everyone who knows me.
I am a born Texan who lived all my earlier years in Virginia and Thailand. I remember the first integration of the schools in Virginia when I was in the third grade. After that I moved to Thailand where I lived with people from all over the world. Then it was back to El Paso where I lived on the East side of town. Most of the Jewish people in El Paso live on the West side. So, in all the places I was raised, with all the people I met, I never knew anyone who was Jewish.
I can almost guarantee that the first Jewish person I ever knew was my husband, Harry. We had great times together and never really worried about the “religion thing,” that is, until we were going to get married.
I never had any strong ties to religion when I was growing up. My mother dragged me, along with my sisters, to the Valley Congregational Church every week, where we spent our time writing notes to each other. I did believe in God but had a hard time relating to the whole Jesus concept. I was quite happy when my mother decided that we were too old to drag to church any more!
When Harry and I were married in Austin, I did not want to convert to Judaism. If I had at that point, it would not have been for me. We decided that our household would be Jewish and that our children would be raised as Jews. I realized that it was important for our children to be raised with a religious faith and knew that I did not have strong ties to my Congregational upbringing. I was happy with our decision, even though I knew I would miss holidays with my family.
Our children, Deborah, Kelly, and Jake were born and raised as Jews, as planned. We moved to San Antonio where we joined Temple Beth-El. Harry was thrilled that Rabbi Stahl was here, as he had confirmed Harry in Galveston. It was very comforting that Rabbi Stahl has had a long history with Harry's family…it was almost like coming home.
I started teaching preschool at the Jewish Community Center when all of my children were enrolled there. One by one, they all left for public school while I stayed, working with four and five year olds. It was educational, rewarding, and just plain fun working at the JCC, and I have to admit that it was my true introduction to a Jewish Education.
For years, our Judaic specialist at the JCC was Chaike Charles. She is someone I will always admire as being a truly good person. She taught the children and she taught me about the Jewish holidays, Jewish values, and Jewish culture. I always had questions and she was always happy to teach me.
After Harry and I had been married for ten years, I realized that I was living as a Jew, but was not an official Jew. I mentioned to Harry that I wanted to learn more and had the idea of converting to Judaism. In a flash, he signed us up for classes at Temple and I was on my way. It was a fantastic experience, learning so much while Harry re-learned things he had forgotten. Rabbis Stahl and Goodman and then Education Director, Deena Bloomstone taught our classes. I was amazed with their knowledge and the love and dedication with which they taught.
At the end of the class there was an essay test, which scared me to death. Would I be able to pass the class? Would I be able to become a Jew? I not only had to have knowledge; I had to do some real soul searching about my faith. This was when I realized that I had been a Jew for a very long time, just not in name. All I remember about my conversion ceremony was thinking that I had made the right choice to become a Jew.
Most of my friends were Jewish and we all became each other's family. That tends to happen when none of you have family close by. I probably learned more about living Jewishly from them than from anywhere else. Our kids were all close and we had the joy of carpooling all of them to Temple for Religious School and mid-week Hebrew. We became each other's families when it was time for all of the B'nai Mitzvah we celebrated. I learned how to host a Shabbat dinner for 60 people, how to run a Bar Mitzvah party, and how to put all those cookies on the trays for the Friday night Oneg.
In 1998, I was asked to become the new volunteer advisor for SAFTY, our Temple's high school youth group. I did not grow up in a youth group, had no idea what I was doing, but said, “yes” anyway. I have to admit that I was also nervous about working with teenagers. Then I found that the main difference between pre-schoolers and teenagers is that the teenagers are taller. It appealed to me because I had been taught, and strongly believe that Judaism is a religion of action as much as it is a faith.
Up to now, my experience had been working with very young children who were being introduced to Judaism. Now I was being exposed to a whole new facet of Jewish education. I was coming into the adolescence of my Judaism. I have now come to the conclusion that it was a good fit as I was at the same level as these teenagers. We have been able to grow together and connect as Jews.
I also began working at Greene Family Camp every summer. They say that camp is the Shabbat of the year, and I totally agree with that. A summer at camp is an extremely intense experience. Kids and adults live together as Jews in a Jewish atmosphere. Think about it: There's not too many places in Texas where its cool to be Jewish! My true passion at camp has been working with the tenth grade Kibbutz Unit. This particular unit is separated from the rest of the camp and becomes its own community, giving the campers the true experience of being part of a Jewish community.
Camp is also a place where you live by a Jewish calendar. Shabbat really is a day of rest and the week begins on Sunday. My job as a unit head meant that I had to contact people outside of camp. It was always very confusing for me to call these businesses at the start of MY week only to find out that Sunday was not a working day in the secular world.
All three of my children have grown up at camp and went through youth group. They all have very strong Jewish identities from those experiences and also from the way Harry and I raised them. They have relationships with Jewish friends, which I imagine will last throughout their lives. Kelly is the Vice-president of her Hillel group at Texas Tech and has plans to attend rabbinical school. Jake's roommate is a Jewish NFTY friend from Houston. Deborah, along with Jake and his Jewish friends, come to our house to celebrate Shabbat and other Jewish holidays. I don't know how my children will turn out in the end, but I feel that Harry and I have given them a very strong Jewish background by role modeling and by the way we live our lives.
I have moved on from pre-school and have even gone farther than SAFTY. I am still involved with our Temple kids, but the reins of SAFTY have been turned over to Jean Kolovson. I just can't bring myself to quit. I love seeing how much our SAFTY members grow, from the first time they come to an event, to when they graduate. I am proud that we have teenagers at Temple who are so involved in their Judaism. I have worked many years with Rabbi Bergman Vann and we have brought SAFTY to a very high level. It has been a wonderful experience and one I'm just not quite ready to let go.
My official job is that I am the NFTY-TOR advisor, which means that I am the Director for the Texas-Oklahoma Region of the North American Federation of Temple Youth, part of the Youth Division of the Union for Reform Judaism. That's quite a mouthful, I love when people ask me what I do! I now have the fun and the challenge of working with teens and adults from all over Texas and Oklahoma. It also means that I am involved with the Reform Jewish movement on a national level. This position is extremely rewarding to me. I have come to believe that the future of Judaism rests in our youth and am very excited about being a part of that future. I have the opportunity to work with students and adults, bringing them to regional events where they pray and learn together. Not only have I had to grow professionally, but also personally. I've had to expand my knowledge of Judaism; I never imagined that I would be helping to teach the future leaders of the Reform movement. What a huge responsibility!
As I was finishing writing this speech, I was talking to Harry about how to end it. He had a great metaphor, which I will share with you. He said that the subject of this speech is the impact of Judaism on my life. The word “impact” is a reminder of a hammer. Judaism has not exactly hit me over the head like a hammer, but has instead enveloped me like a blanket. Judaism is a very warm, all embracing component of my life. It took a long time for me to get to this point in my life, but here I am. I am still learning and growing, as we all do. I can tell you though, I can't imagine being anything other than a Jew. My story still has a long way to go and it's one I am looking forward to writing.
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