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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5767, October 2, 2006
Being Jewish as a child growing up on Long Island meant: holding my grandfather’s hand as we walked to Shul on Shabbos; attempting to davin and keep up with the service (I was usually 2 pages behind); using the candle and feather to search for the hidden chumatz on ere of Pesach; it meant watching as my grandmother prepared the “just plucked chicken” and putting it in the pot with the yellow feet sticking straight up; and it meant keeping out of my mother’s kitchen for fear of messing up her strictly kosher world…………Orthodoxy to me, was also rote memorization of prayers without much understanding of the meaning and putting on tefillin every morning before high school or Sunday school for many years. It also signified hours of Hebrew school each week; giving up my beloved sports for a year as I prepared for Bar Mitzvah and not knowing there was such thing as meat that wasn’t dry and tough from being soaked in salt all day.
But in this small Long Island enclave, so many families were Orthodox and multitudes more were Conservative with a few subscribing to the Reform movement. Jews and a Jewish environment were part of daily life. I never had to miss school for the holidays—schools were closed. Secular life stopped for shul attendance or home observances. In my neighborhood you were either Jewish or Italian. The Jews were professionals or owned small businesses and the Italians “protected” the businesses. We coexisted beautifully—anti-Semitism was an unknown.
But this Orthodox Jewish cocoon changed rapidly and drastically when I left high school and Long Island for the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado. During the first week of intense summer training—hazing was more like it—I was told every incoming cadet WILL attend mandatory chapel services on Sunday morning. When I very hesitantly and nervously mentioned “But sir, I am Jewish”, I received back a scowling reply: “OK, but this Sunday you pick either Catholic or Protestant chapel services”. Talk about an uncomfortable Sunday morning…………….Fortunately, after some forced Sunday masses, we few Jewish cadets were allowed to attend Friday evening worship with a lay leader or visiting Rabbi until a permanent Rabbi came months later.
For the next 4 years at the Air Force Academy I deliberately and intentionally shed my Orthodox background. I progressed to a stage of hidden Conservative Judaism which actually was with me during my first few years as an officer on active duty and the initial stage of marriage to my wonderful wife, Maxine. I use the term “hidden” because the Air Force, as an institution, was led and governed by white Anglo Saxon Protestants and as a Jewish fighter pilot I was a distinct oddity. I am embarrassed to say, I did not exhibit much pride in being Jewish and acting Jewish during this period.
But then, returning to Maxine and my first 2 children, Brian and Wendi, after a long tour in Vietnam, I openly and whole- heartedly re-embraced Judaism.
In Lubbock, Texas we immediately joined the only congregation in town—a Reform temple; and later in Tallahassee, Florida we again joined the only congregation—also Reform. Perhaps it was initially a bit strange to hear organs, to use a Reform prayer book or not wear a tallis or yarmulke but I was definitely going to give Reform a chance.
At this stage, Maxine and her father, Dr Jack Art, one of my best friends in life prior to his untimely early death, were great influences. Jack gave his time and energy to Reform Judaism in Shreveport, Louisiana and he worked tirelessly teaching Sunday school, promoting support for the disadvantaged, caring for the many poor blacks in town and maintaining the highest ideals of honesty, Torah and Tikun Olum—repairing the world. And Maxine came from a tradition of regular Shabbat meals at home followed by Temple services—her active social life came after services.
However, the progression to being a true Reform Jew was not initially very easy. I missed the traditional prayers, the comfort of the non-changing liturgy, and some of the rituals. Perhaps I also remember a comment from my past that to this very day disturbs me…………..as a youth, one of my family’s closest friends, Roy, was a very bright, chemical engineer who was a member of an area Reform Congregation. Roy was elected President of his congregation and he proudly let us know that at dinner one evening. After dinner I noted to my parents the pride exhibited by Roy as incoming President. To which my father replied “but he’s only Reform”.
Now I become irritated and almost angry when I hear comments that Reform is being “less than properly Jewish”.
When we arrived in San Antonio just after Sam and Lynn Stahl came to our Temple, Maxine and I finally had a choice of congregations. We visited Agudas Achim and discussed Rodfei Shalom but after 8 years of experiencing Reform worship and ideals, it was our decision to commit to involvement at Temple Beth-El. I recall vividly our first visit to Temple where we met Temple President Morrie Beldon who welcomed us with such kind words and his special smile.
So, I eagerly accepted active leadership roles here at Temple Beth El. I was determined to be more like my father- in- law and give time and energy to supporting communal, congregational and Jewish needs. I enjoyed Temple Board involvement, but it was nothing compared to proudly serving as President of this congregation in the middle of the last decade. I loved serving as President.
The chance to meet with new congregants, to work with fellow dedicated board members, to plan Mitzvah Day, to represent this wonderful congregation at national conferences, and to welcome worshippers at Shabbat services made me feel very Jewish and I was filled with pride.
And now that I have transitioned from Orthodox to Conservative to Reform Judaism I enter a different phase…..one where I take great pride in seeing our children and grandchildren embrace their faith.
All three of Maxine and my married children are affiliated with congregations in Austin or Dallas and while my oldest grandson prepares for his Bar Mitzvah, my youngest loves to sing at Shabbat children’s services. And she sings in tune. L’dor v dor—from generation to generation our heritage lives.
So what does Judaism mean to me? Do good deeds, care for others, keep traditions alive, support Jewish causes, and be a kind person…..no matter which movement of Judaism you embrace.
Thank you for the honor and privilege of again standing before the congregation to express these thoughts,
May you and all your loved ones be inscribed in the book of life for the coming year.
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