Back to Sermon Page
Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5767, October 2, 2006
I know I have feelings of faith and spirituality, but I have never tried to put these feelings into words. I am much more comfortable singing music and reading words others have written. When I was asked to speak at this symposium I accepted the challenge because I thought it was about time that I articulated my feelings.
My Father was from Chicago and my Mother is from Memphis. They both grew up in Orthodox families, however they both decided to be Reform Jews. They also thought it was important to assimilate. So there was no mezuzah on our door. I believed in Santa Claus because my parents were afraid that I would otherwise tell the neighborhood kids the truth and cause trouble with the neighbors. Needless to say, we weren't very observant. Growing up, my Jewish friends talked about much more elaborate Seders than we had, and would have special candy and coke for Pesach. I was envious. Mom's chicken soup was “Lipton's.” Very recently I happened to mention to Mom that we never lit Sabbath candles. Her reply was, “We weren't Orthodox!” Growing up in an Orthodox home, she never learned that many of the observances were appropriate Reform Jewish observances as well. In the late 60's and early 70's we were taught that the ceremony and rituals aren't as important as being a good person and doing good deeds.
In the sixth grade at religious school we were taught ethics. Now that was Jewish education I could use! I looked forward to that class, because it taught us how to use Judaism in every day life. When I am experiencing a dilemma at work, with family, or friends, I seek guidance from “within.” I often find the answers there. I truly come to important decisions that way. To me it is “that still clear voice” that we read about in the “Gates of Grey.”
There are many things I love about being Jewish. Not the least of which is that Steve and I met at SoFTY camp (although we didn't start dating until college).
I love that Reform Judaism is tolerant of others. A client once started discussions about religion. At first he seemed to truly be interested in learning about Judaism. But he was really trying to open the door to get me to convert. I had had such previous encounters with acquaintances before. I am open minded to learning about what others believe, but one thing for certain is that I could never believe in a religion that teaches that it is the only true religion, and that its believers must make others believe the way they do.
I was disappointed when my brother decided to become a Mormon. I begged him to please talk to a Rabbi before he made the change. But now that he has converted, I have decided to accept it. I have friends that are Jews by Choice. I would hope that their families have accepted their choice, and therefore, I should accept my brother's.
Judaism makes sense to me: Others will pray to God to bless the food. Jews say a prayer to thank God for the food. It doesn't need to be blessed because it is already blessed, as it is a gift from God. Also did you know that the blessing over the wine praises God for creating the fruit of the vine, but it does not command us to drink the wine? That is because some of us might not be able to drink it due to health reasons.
I enjoy that we Jews have a connection with people all over the country. It gives a sense of belonging. I recently visited some cousins in California. They asked if I knew a certain family here in San Antonio. I did. Not only did I know them, but also they were distantly related by marriage on my mother's side. These California cousins were on my father's side. Rabbi Block once asked if I knew his cousin, Roy, in Memphis. Not only did Roy work with my Dad, Roy named his new company after my dad's nickname for him: Royal. My son Mike's roommate at UT is the great nephew of a colleague of my father's in Memphis.
I am so grateful to have the opportunity to song lead. It is a big responsibility, and I want to do it right. When practicing with the choir for the High Holiday Services a few years ago I sorely mispronounced some words of a prayer. I had been lackadaisical about pronunciation because the words didn't mean anything to me. The Rabbi called it to my attention that they were mispronounced. The words, of course, do have meaning to others. I made up my mind that I should join a B'nai Mitzvah class. I did that and January I will celebrate as a Bat Mitzvah with my classmates.
Although I try to understand the general meaning of the songs, often, it is just a feeling. I sometimes wonder if they are more like mantras to me. Or nigunim. I was looking for a definition of Nigun and liked this one from Chabad.org. “Words limit and define, but the nigun tears the soul beyond all bounds.” I told Rabbi Bergman-Vann once that finding time to pray when I am songleading is hard because I am always thinking about the next cue. She told me to search for moments. One moment I found is during the Adonai S'fatai. We are asking God to open our lips that our mouths may declare God's glory! That's why, although we seem to have some fun as the song goes faster and faster, we are really getting ready to pray, to focus on prayer. The repetition of it, in addition to the fact that the words are mixed up with “a na na” make it a nigun. This is one place where I find a moment of spirituallity. I wonder if all the songs were in English would the mind take over and overshadow some of the spirituallity for me.
Due to requirements of running my CPA practice, Songleading, and other volunteer obligations, there doesn't seem to be enough time to do things like preparing the house for Passover properly. I want to try to do more. Both attending Temple services and traditions remind me of something bigger than my world, of something unexplainable. Knowing that keeps me mindful that it is important to do the right thing, to seek guidance from God, and to be grateful for everything I have. It also reminds me that what we do with our lives is a link between the past and future of our people.
Back to Yom Kippur Symposium Page
Back to Sermon Page
Home