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Home Presentation for Yom Kippur Symposium 5768, September 22, 2007
When I received the letter from Rabbi Block inviting me to participate in this symposium, my first reaction was a definite “NO Way!” Although I felt honored, I thought of many reasons why not - principal among them- I thought I had little to contribute. Upon the insistence of my children and grandchildren I began to think about the subject.
I know Judaism has been an important part of my life, but when faced with a decision I have never said to myself, “What would Judaism tell me to do? How would it influence me to act?” After thoughtful consideration I realize that unconsciously much of what I have done has been an expression of my Judaism, certainly my moral and ethical decisions were influenced by Jewish teachings - but used unconsciously - not considering the source.
My doubt about accepting Rabbi's invitation was influenced by the fact that I was raised in a Classical Reform home. My parents were members of Temple Beth Israel in Houston, which was in the 1920's and for many years, after a Classical Reform Temple. We observed very few of the rituals practiced today. Bar Mitzvah ceremony was not observed; Confirmation was the rite of passage for boys and girls. After Confirmation Jewish education was complete. Home observances were not stressed. Prayers preceding home observances were not taught.
I was exposed to Orthodox observations through my paternal grandmother and aunts who lived nearby. After my marriage to Irvin Boarnet in 1935, we also were members of Temple Beth Israel and participated in Temple activities. We both taught Sunday School (it was still called Sunday School then!). But still, home rituals were not taught - that was in the 1930's and 1940's.
After moving to New Braunfels in 1947 we found ourselves in a Christian environment with only a few Jewish families. In this environment we did make Temple Beth El in San Antonio our spiritual home since 1947.
This minimal exposure to traditional Judaism has made me wonder, “Has Judaism impacted my life?” and explains my initial reluctance to participate in this symposium.
In considering this question, “Has Judaism impacted my life?” several passages from Gates of Prayer come to mind.
The first of these is, “With the work of my hands, I honor my God.” If I have any innate talent, I can create with my hands. Starting with our son, Bernie, I have made something for the Temple to honor him and each grandchild's Bar/Bat Mitzvah. When Bernie became a Bar Mitzvah in 1951, only a few years after we moved to this area, Rabbi Jacobson suggested the Torah binders were worn and needed replacement. That was a simple project - 3 inch wide elastic covered in velvet and attached to the decorative clasps for each Torah.
Years later, when his son, Marlon Boarnet, our oldest grandchild was ready to become a Bar Mitzvah, the first tapestry, now hanging in our sanctuary, was being planned. I volunteered and stitched the square with the Menorah in his honor. Two years later his sister, Jody, became a Bat Mitzvah. Rabbi Stahl suggested that the two small Torahs needed white mantels for the High Holy Days. I worked out plans for the two in that the following year, another grandchild, Jerry Cohen, would be ready for the observance of his Bar Mitzvah ceremony. I must confess that the two mantels were quite untraditional, not as glamorous as usual mantels, because of the lack of availability of glamorous ornamentations. While these are no longer in use, Rabbi Stahl used to call them our “Reform mantels”.
The next three grandchildren, Toby Cohen, Trent Boarnet, and Darren Boarnet, who are each about sixteen months apart, were honored in one great project - the “Hallelujah” top panel for the symbols tapestry. Divided into thirds, this one project completed my honoring of my grandchildren.
My last handwork for the Temple honored our 50th wedding anniversary. I commissioned one of the designers who worked on the tapestries to design a Challah cover using the colors and motifs of the tapestries, which I then stitched in needlepoint. It is the Challah cover now used weekly at our Shabbat services.
The words, “The work of my hands”, implies, in a broader interpretation, using all of our skills and talents to make the world a better place for all. My husband and I felt he should help the community of New Braunfels. My husband's service on the New Braunfels Independent School Board was very important as he served as a new voice. During Irvin's term on the Board, the Supreme Court handed down its decision that schools must be desegregated. The next year the New Braunfels' schools opened fully desegregated. When Irvin was President of the school board, the district was in grave financial crisis. Tax levels were as high as allowed by the state, leaving no resources for greater income. Property appraisals were derived by the “good old boy” system and were unfair and inequitable. The school board hired an independent appraiser who reappraised every property on the tax rolls. The new market value appraisal allowed the tax rate to decrease and still provide ample revenue. It was so successful that the city adopted the new appraisal. This effort has left an enduring legacy in our town.
As Irvin volunteered in New Braunfels, I did the same for our Temple. I was a docent for many years here at Temple. I also participated, from its inception until just a couple of years ago in the “feed the hungry” group that meets in the Temple kitchen, to cook, supplying the San Antonio Food Bank. Our son, Bernie, and his wife, Esther, devote many hours to service organizations in New Braunfels. Esther has been Chairman of the Community Chest. Our daughter, Luann Cohen, and husband, Larry, have devoted many years of service to our Temple; each served on the Board of Trustees and Larry was President, Luann serves on the Interiors and the Fine Arts Committees. Their son, Jerry, has been President of the Jewish Community Center; Jody Boarnet Fries has taught religious school here at Temple and been active with the Jewish Federation. Trent Boarnet and Mark Ingram are active in Temple Brotherhood and have been adult sponsors of the youth organization, B.E.S.T.
Our grandchildren have established Jewish homes. My great grandchildren (all ten of them) are growing up in the traditions of Judaism. The oldest, Nicole Cohen, will become a Bat Mitzvah in a few weeks in this beautiful sanctuary where her grandmother, Luann, was confirmed and married.
Yes, Judaism, I hope through the example of my husband and me, has apparently impacted our family unto the fourth generation.
Another, a second quote from Gates of Prayer that I really try to live by is, “Pray as if everything depended on God; and act as if everything depended on you.”
“Pray as if everything depended on God” does not mean when I am faced with a daunting challenge I can appeal for God's help and sit back and expect God to take care of my achieving success. I know I must try to accomplish this myself. I must try the most promising path. If that is not successful, I must try another. If successful, I would pray to God with thanks for the wisdom, intelligence, and patience required in achieving success.
There is a third, very meaningful quote from our text that has helped me through a trying time in my life.
“Birth is a beginning
And death a destination.
And life is a journey,
A sacred pilgrimage-
To life everlasting.”
My dear husband, Irivn, was an Alzheimer patient. He spent the last two years of his life in an Alzheimer's unit, in a secure environment, where he was content in his imaginary world. I had heard this quote many times, but when I heard it again during this time in my life, it suddenly spoke to me personally. My husband's journey was coming to an end and he was now reaching for his destination. When he found his destination, after only two years there, he was still in good general health and could care for himself and still remembered me. It was long before the physical ravages of this dreadful disease could take its toll that he incurred a sudden, unexpected medical event and found his destination. We got to make his final journey together while he could still meet it with grace and dignity. For this I was very grateful. I found great comfort and solace in these words from our Gates of Repentance.
In retrospect, now that I have taken time out and contemplated on these many ninety-one years of my long and blessed life, I realize how much Judaism has influence my life. It is the core of my life; the axis around which I have developed. I am grateful that I did say “Yes” to Rabbi's invitation and have had this opportunity to review my journey and recall that Judaism has taught me that there is a personal and intimate loving God; an integral part of my life. I have found security, fulfillment, and peace in my Judaism. I am grateful that I have had the opportunity to find just how much Judaism has influenced my life. I am happy, content, and proud in my Jewish heritage.
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